A Short List of Reforms for the American Republic

Congratulations has to go out to all the morbidly obsessed fans of apocalyptic/dystopian fiction here in America because in many ways your preferred genre of entertainment has come true. Yes, while many of you Hunger Games and Walking Dead fans still relax in your comfortable suburban settings with refrigerators full of food watching Tiger King on Netflix the world has lost its little marbles. You don't like the current world order? Fair enough because for billions of people and other lifeforms on the planet it sucks. But, world orders are clumsy things and when they fall apart the overwhelming result is large-scale war with all its death, destruction, and chaos.

Throw in the fact that there is no international brotherhood waiting in the wings to take the global reigns once the evil American Empire collapses, the best thing might be to shore up the existing order and push for reforms. But first lets count the ways the world is going to Hell in a hand basket. No, this isn't a complete list. Because ultimately climate change is the ticking megaton nuclear bomb off in the corner.

The first sign of the apocalypse is of course the COVID-19 pandemic, and while it isn't a zombie plague nor a civilization-killing flu like in Stephen King's The Stand, it's a sticky, persistent bitch that is pushing medical systems and resources passed breaking points leaving thousands dead. All the while here in the glorious United States, we have zombie stand-ins shrilly screaming that COVID is “no big deal” or a “hoax” meant to derail their Dear Leader's sparkling economy.

The second path to doom is that the nice and tidy world order that popped into being in the 1990s is falling apart with certain national strongmen actively undermining stability. As the Soviet Union crumbled democratic governments sprouted up across the world leading some academics to suggest we were seeing the end of history. Instead we have authoritarian dickheads in many of those liberated countries undermining the very freedoms others gave their lives to achieve. Of course the tip to the growing authoritarian spear is both a heavily nuclear armed Russia and the economic juggernaut that is China.

Stealing from the late Senator John McCain, but Russia is nothing but a glorified gas station with thousands of nuclear weapons. While it still dreams of playing a leading role on the world stage, its economy is bullshit and its alcoholic population ain't making enough babies to replace the dying old folks. Making matters more problematic, it has a megalomaniac at the helm who is nursing a serious grudge towards the United States.

China on the other hand is simply the up and coming nation who nurses ancient dreams of global glory while remembering how the Europeans countries screwed with it in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries. China has money and lots of smart people with a willingness to make sacrifices for the greater national good. Now this greater national good is often harmful to the planet, human rights, and the truth but as far as they are concerned, you have to break a lot of eggs to make an omelet.

It goes without saying the keystone of current world order is the United States and its near failed-state status is exacerbating the international situation. The question is how do we fix it.

If by some cosmic magical event I was given sole control of instituting reforms the first thing I would address would be the electoral college. The hallmark of the American ego that really irritates the rest of the world is our obnoxious bragging about our democratic traditions. This becomes a serious issue of blatant hypocrisy when a presidential candidate loses the popular vote by a large margin but wins the electoral college and thus get to spend at least four years getting White House room service.

Now Republicans having won two presidential elections in the last twenty years this way loves the electoral college. Right-wing talking heads embrace the electoral college with an enthusiasm almost equal to the Second Amendment. Of course their love of the electoral college is only because it pushed George W. Bush and the Orange Buffoon into the White House. Had the situation been reversed I'm sure as bears leave steaming piles of poop in the woods they would be demanding its elimination. Yes, if Democratic presidential candidates were benefiting from the electoral college they would be quite happy keeping it going.

Now the usual talking points from Democrats is that American presidential contests should rely just on the popular vote to decide a winner. A good idea for the most part but from what I understand the mechanics involved would require a constitutional amendment, something extremely difficult even in the best of times.

My reform would not eliminate the electoral college, but would award the popular vote winner twenty extra electoral votes. This idea goes back to the 1976 election when political scientists noticed Ford and Carter were about even in the polls. They wanted to save the country from another bout of political upheaval so soon after the conclusion of Watergate.

Those extra votes to the popular vote winner would not have saved Hillary Clinton back in 2016. But under normal circumstances with two nearly even candidates it would be enough to avoid uncertainty and chaos. The factors involved in the 2016 Hillary/Trump Fiasco were far too complex to be solved simply. While Hillary's election to POTUS would have been spectacular, I'm forced to admit she was a highly flawed candidate that grossly underestimated her opponents. Still it would be my hope that just giving the popular vote winner twenty extra electoral votes would be easier to implement than a complex campaign to change the Constitution.

My second reform would be that all serious presidential candidates would have to fully disclose the entirety of their financial records, including that of their wives and children. Failure to provide such records or to somehow forge them would mean immediate criminal prosecution and, of course, being disqualified from further campaigning. This of course is aimed dead at the Orange Buffoon who did quite the dance to avoid making his taxes public. I utterly hate the man and his family but I'll give the Devil his due and say he played the media, the Democrats, and more specifically the Hillary Campaign like a master violinist.

The third reform I would institute would be that not only would presidential candidates be forced to disclose all their medical history but would have to have psychological evaluations by an impartial, independent panel. The first part of this reform is aimed at Bernie Sanders who in his usual asshole manner steadfastly refused to disclose his medical records after have suffered from a heart attack during the 2020 campaign.

The second part is aimed at the Orange Buffoon whose public behavior at a minimum is irrational if not dangerous. The Orange Buffoon has showed nothing but contempt for American principles playing every situation and circumstance while in office to his personal or family benefit and showing a disturbing tendency for authoritarian behavior. In normal, relatively saner times calling the American free press “The enemy of the people” would have resulted in members of the president's own party taking him to the woodshed.

A fourth reform would involve candidates showing they actually understand the workings of American government, international relations, global economics, and science. From the moment the Orange Buffoon entered the White House he has been lighting matches attempting to set the existing order on fire. Until the pandemic that he ignored and then downplayed his destructive tendencies hadn't done too much damage. Yes, for a while he was determined to destroy NATO and ruin our relationships with our allies but somehow I still believe his damage is repairable.

His refusal to standby international treaties from previous presidents is a disaster of unprecedented proportions. Not only does the Orange Buffoon's actions undermine American foreign policy now but will make both foe and ally hesitant to trust us again whenever this nightmare ends. This goes back to the idea that when world orders become unreliable it allows chaos to grow with other nations looking to impose their own will on the world.

In a way the fifth reform I would impose is the most vital but yet the most difficult. While I detest anyone who criticizes American teachers, history and civics educations in this country is dangerously insufficient. The ignorance in history and the workings of American government I have personally observed is so overwhelming and persuasive that I fear what will become of this nation. One person I know is so ignorant that he refers to hazy, ill-defined memories of decades old Saturday morning “School House Rocks” cartoons when talking about government.

What truly chilled me to the bone was another person wondering why our NATO allies didn't pay the United States government for its protection. Frankly, I was dumbfounded at how to explain what was literally thousands of years of history going back to ancient Athens to the more recent calls of the great Winston Churchill for collective security in the face a growing Nazi Germany threat back in the 1930s.

I don't blame American teachers for this level of ignorance. They have an extremely demanding job whose salary is pretty much crap. I blame lazy parents and the culture in general for valuing such things as glamour, celebrity, and the ability to chase various balls above rational thought and knowledge. How you fix that I haven't got a damn clue.

For shits and giggles another reform I would impose would be some form of term limits for politicians with them forbidden to become lobbyists afterwards. I'd also prohibit offspring from pursuing political careers thus eliminating family political dynasties. The absolute last thing we need is more spoiled brats using their family name for political advantage.

And finally, I would not only make voting mandatory but would extensively use mail-in ballots. There would still be physical elections with voting booths and polling places. But voting would be a week-long event with everyone getting one day off with pay if that was their preferred way of casting their ballot. Business people would of course whine about having to provide pay but frak them, they are acting more and more like 18^th century British aristocrats. I'm personally getting sick of their attitudes.

There are certainty more reforms I would impose from my lofty but imaginary position. But for now I will just return to reality and wonder what some future Edward Gibbon will write about our times.