When your kids are small alone time for married parents is rare. When there is another small kid involved the rarity increases exponentially. So when my daughter received an invitation to her best friend’s sleepover/birthday party my wife and I realized that we were going to have a Friday night to ourselves. Because our son had been invited to spend the weekend with his best friend a few days before.
I got home Friday afternoon and my daughter, Amanda, was in her room packing her overnight bag. She was positively giddy, Kelli, her best friend had just moved into a new house after her mom remarried. My daughter had already visited the house and said Kelli’s room was amazing. She also said something about a pool and one of those fancy adventure play sets in the backyard.
Kelli and Amanda had been friends since they were babies in daycare. And my wife and I were quite comfortable with her staying with either Kelli’s mom or dad. They had divorced a couple of years before but remained friendly enough to raise a well adjusted and bright kid.
When the time came for me to take Amanda to Kelli’s house, my daughter raced to the car and had an impatient look on her face when a few moments later as I walked into the garage. She was ready to see her best friend and to be honest, I was looking forward to having some alone time with my wife.
The one element I failed to take into consideration was that Kelli’s new step-father brought his own two daughters to the marriage he had with her mom. I didn’t see how it could have been an issue, Kelli’s mom had always treated Amanda as one of her own and I didn’t see any reason it would change. That was a bad assumption.
As I pulled onto Kelli’s new street it was easy to see which house was hers. At least a couple of dozen balloons were tied to various points on the house and bushes. Above the front door was a colorful banner saying “Birthday Girl.”
I knew there would naturally be other girls at the party but I was surprised to see the number of cars parked along the curb. It was clearly going to be a huge party and I figured kids associated with Kelli’s new stepdad were attending besides his own two daughters.
After driving down the street to find a parking spot, I escorted my daughter up to the front door. Amanda and I were behind two other groups of parents and kids who were being greeted by Kelli’s mom as they entered.
Lisa, Kelli’s mom, warmly welcomed the people ahead of us. Lisa was all smiles and clearly enjoying the people who were attending Kelli’s birthday. I figured she was also riding the newlywed happiness train since she and her new husband had only been married for a couple of months.
As soon as Amanda and I stepped up to the porch it all changed. Lisa’s smile and demeanor did a complete turnaround and being a caring dad my instinct was to grab my daughter and leave.
“Oh, you're here,” Lisa said in a disappointed tone that spoke volumes to me. Given the overflowing crowd it was easy for me to imagine that my daughter’s invitation had only been a courtesy. That whatever affection Lisa might have felt for my daughter had been superseded by all the additions to her family. Namely Lisa’s two new stepdaughters who were close to the same age as Kelli.
You have to understand that in my own experience it’s always safest to assume the worst in people.
The urge to grab Amanda and haul ass was overwhelming but my daughter saw her friend and was through the door before I could stop her. Lisa looked up at me with an expression I couldn’t read but I figured it was her doing the mental calculation on whether turning us away would be worth the scene it would create.
At the same time I was doing my own mental calculations on whether I could step inside, grab my daughter and get her out of a place where it was obvious she wasn’t really welcome. Glancing past Lisa, I couldn’t see my daughter anymore and figured Kelli was taking Amanda to her room. And while I knew Lisa wanted to avoid a scene, any action by me would have been viewed much worse.
“She’ll be fine,” Lisa said to me suddenly in a tone of resigned acceptance. She then turned away and shut the door. My wife was naturally far closer with Lisa but I had always thought she and I were on good terms. But as I walked away I hated that woman more than anyone else I had ever encountered.
After returning home I told my wife about what happened and she immediately figured I had misread the situation. Of course, that was always a possibility but even now, years later, I’m certain my assessment was correct. I’ll go as far and say Kelli more than likely wanted Amanda at her party but her mom only sent the invitation to satisfy her daughter. I can imagine there’s even a chance that Lisa insinuated to my wife during one of their talks about wanting only family at the party but she missed the hints. Yes, it has happened before.
Naturally the rest of that night was not the happy and relaxing occasion I hoped for. I even tried to get my wife to call Lisa and say that something had come up and we needed Amanda back home.
By Saturday afternoon, Kelli’s party moved from her new house to her real dad’s parent’s house. It was out in the boondocks and since this was before Google, took me forever to find. The house was a full-fledged Mcmansion and while my attitude was already bad it only got worse. I have little to no respect for Mcmansions but this one was a monument to gross excesses.
The foyer was as big as a normal bedroom, complete with decorative eight-foot high molding and the ceiling itself around ten feet high. The living room, filled with high class furniture, was cordoned off with museum-grade felt covered belt barriers. And once again it had ten-foot ceilings with the same molding as the foyer. Kelli’s grandparents had at least had small statues sitting on top of the molding making some use of the totally wasted space.
The kitchen was of course restaurant huge with commercial appliances and a massive countertop island in the middle. And the first floor bathroom, it was bigger than the master bedroom at my house and boasted two tubs and a spacious shower with a bench for two.
Yeah, there’s no sin being successful but I found the house grossly overindulgent.
I eventually found my way to the backyard and saw my daughter in the pool. She was playing in the water by herself while Kelli was playing with six other kids ignoring her. These kids turned out to be her new step-sisters and step-cousins. I learned this from Kelli’s real dad, a guy named Brad, who I noticed was doing his best to avoid looking directly at his ex-wife and her new husband. They were over by the massive gas grill watching the hot dogs and hamburgers cook while doing their best
Brad must have seen my face as I watched my daughter attempt to interact with her friend but be generally ignored. “Yeah, I almost called you this morning.” He said while sipping a bottle of beer.
“What do you mean?” I said, anticipating I wouldn’t like the news.
“I noticed Amanda was being left out when they arrived here this morning. And I haven’t seen Kelli spend any time with her.” Brad smiled, and said matter of factly like he was speaking about some minor observation. “Kelli has become quite enamored with the kids in her step-dad’s family and it wouldn’t surprise me if she didn’t spend much time with Amanda at the sleepover.”
Here’s where I truly got pissed. While Brad and I were not buddies I considered us friendly enough that he should have called me once he noticed Amanda was being excluded. Just goddamn common courtesy because I’m sure as Hell I wouldn’t have wanted his daughter to be left alone while Amanda played with new friends.
I was done with Lisa and her new family and Brad. I didn’t give a damn anymore if I caused a scene. I walked away from Brad and over to the side of the pool my daughter was playing. The second Amanda saw me she was out of the pool running towards me. After we hugged, I asked her if she wanted to go home and I got a slight nod. Yes, she was very upset but either hadn’t said anything or was ignored.
One of the worst sins you can commit here in the South, and particularly with my wife, is to be seen as ungracious. Custom demands all guests in someone’s home must say goodbye and thank you to the host. And even lie saying you had a remarkably good time and hoped we could get together again.
That’s the way I was raised and while given my size and general demeanor you wouldn’t think I gave a damn about polite society. But I was raised to be polite and it took all my willpower to walk out of there with my daughter without following the usual custom. At least I didn’t cut back through the house on the way out but used the backyard gate leaving it open. A small act of defiance I wish had been more.
Apparently not speaking and leaving through the gate- they had a couple of small dogs in the backyard- had been noticed and Lisa called my wife while I was heading home. Normally my wife would have thought I overreacted but Amanda broke down crying when we got home explaining she had been alone from the moment she was in the house. That was enough to piss my wife off, who called Lisa back and cussed her out like I wanted to earlier.
Lisa and Brad on separate occasions called asking if Amanda would come over and play with Kelli. The one time I answered when Lisa called the second I recognised her voice I said: “Oh it's you,” in the same disappointed tone she did to me and my daughter the night I dropped her off for the sleepover.
Yeah, I’m a petty bastard but it felt goddamn great.
No comments:
Post a Comment