When the Chickens Come Home to Roost

Ignorant assholes playing terrorist in the Michigan State Capitol

The Capitol press room was standing room only. Designed to comfortably seat two dozen reporters, that afternoon there were at least sixty people crowded together awaiting official word from the president. Once again the world was coming apart and the average person was fearful that yet another war would endanger their tenuous existence. So much had been lost in the past decades and only in the last few years had any sense of peace and prosperity returned to the nation.

The chatter in the room was a constant, low nervous buzz but when the assistant press secretary stepped into the room and then to the podium, everyone fell silent.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,” Carrie Barns said standing at the podium. “Undoubtedly you know that Article Five of the NATO alliance has been activated by one of the member states. In a moment the president herself will address you and the nation about what this means. Understand, the president has conferred with the other members and they have come to a joint resolution. There will be a short question and answer session once she reads the joint declaration.”

With that, Ms. Barns stepped back from the podium and looked to the door she entered a moment before waiting for the president to appear. It was one of the aides standing next the door that announced her arrival.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the press, please stand for the President of the Republic of Cascadia.” An almost regal Sandra Parker quickly stepped up to the podium taking a couple of seconds to look at the small computer tablet Barns had left. She then looked out at the seated reporters and the cameras on the other side of the room and began to cut the last few shreds of what had once existed.

“As you all know,” President Parker began, “the Southern Confederacy is reporting that an invasion force made up of naval and ground units of both the Caribbean Federation and the nation of Brazil are sailing towards the Gulf Coast. Confederacy Intelligence expects them to make landings somewhere between the Florida Panhandle to Louisiana in five to six days. Also, Mexican Army and Air Force units have moved to staging areas south of the Rio Grande threatening the Republic of Texas."

“With the Confederacy's main benefactor, Russia, already fighting a desperate war with the Central Asia Caliphate, its president has called for assistance under the North American Treaty Organization. I have already contacted both the Confederacy ambassador in Portland and President Hannity in Atlanta and told them the Republic of Cascadia will not send troops. Moreover, neither will California, nor Utah, Colorado, the Great Lakes Federation, New York or the New England Union."

“This looming conflict originates from both the Confederacy and the Republic of Texas sponsoring Christian libertarian anarchists all through the Caribbean and Latin America. What appears to have provoked the coming war was Brazilian Intelligence discovering that Texas has allowed Amazonia Libertarian Front terrorists to build training camps in isolated prairie lands outside Waco. The same group that six months ago murdered over two-hundred people environmental recovery specialists working on the Peruvian/Brazilian border. The civilized American nations will not be a party to the actions of two rogue states."

“For that reason, California, Utah, the Great Lakes Federation and two divisions of the Cascadian Army will be stationed along the southern Kansas border once the conflict begins to make sure our interests and territory are respected. I would strongly advise the civilian and military leadership of the Confederacy and Texas to concentrate on the invading forces and ignore the neutral troops along their northern border.” President Parker finished while looking at the press who were now jumping up and down trying to get noticed.

Once the reporters calmed down, President Parker pointed to one of the journalists so he could ask a question.

“Madam President, Jacob Wall from the Cascadia Broadcast Network. Why are we taking this action now when its been an open secret for decades that both the Confederacy and Texas have actively interfered in the affairs of other nations? In fact, there is clear evidence that the Idaho Insurrection of 2039 was sponsored by the Confederacy, a conflict that killed over a thousand Cascadian soldiers.”

“Mr Wall, both the Confederacy and Texas have been pushing their Christian libertarian anarchist ideology since their founding at the ending of the Disunion War. Quite simply, at the end of that horrific conflict that killed over eighty million Americans, saw over one-hundred million forced from their homes, and brought the downfall of the United States Government, there was no stomach for further overt fighting."

“The basic infrastructure of Oregon and Washington State were in ruins.” The president continued obviously remembering the incredible hardships that three full generations of survivors had to endure. “Things like clean running water and electricity were close to nonexistent in places like Portland and Seattle for years. The early Cascadian leadership wasn't worried about a piece of rural territory filled with religious zealots and illiterate white supremacists. Yes, the Idaho Insurrection was terrible, but Cascadia was essentially powerless to oppose them until 2035.”

The next question was from David Lewis, a reporter working for the Spokane Times, a newspaper whose publishers push for American reunification.

“Madam President, aren't we violating our treaty obligations under the North American Treaty Organization by not coming to the assistance of the Confederacy and Texas when there is a clear and imminent threat to the continent?”

“Mr. Lewis, the NATO alliance was formed for two reasons. The first being to defend the continent from the perceived threat from China when it foreclosed on the nation of Panama and took over it and operation of the canal back in 2044. The second reason was to dissuaded any North American nation from interfering in the affairs of each other. The best example was the California Civil War and the Idaho Insurrection already mentioned, conflicts that either Texas or the Confederacy gave shelter or supplies to the enemy combatants. The NATO alliance was not meant to aid terrorist nations who got caught with their pants down, dick in hand trying to rape someone."

“The sickness the Confederacy and Texas suffer from originated well before the Disunion War. President Hannity's own grandfather was one of the chief madmen that spawned their political mindset. It destroyed the United States, reduced the people of this continent to something worse than Third World status, and sent shock waves out that forever altered human history. I only wish like Hell Old America had realized the road they were taking changed course."

“Since the Disunion War, the nations that eventually formed out of the ashes of the United States have next to know real contact with each other. Here in Cascadia we have more in common with Canada or California than our nominal allies New York or the New England Union. To fly to New York City or Boston from Seattle or San Francisco you have to go through Calgary or Toronto. Whatever America unity that once existed was pissed away in the name of religious extremism, sanctifying the rich, willful embracing of ignorance, and the glorification of weapons and bloodshed."

“The Confederacy and Texas have sown the wind and now finally they will reap the whirlwind in the form of massive invasion by two of the most powerful nations on Earth. Another way to say this President Hannity would understand is that their chickens have come home to roost. That concludes my briefing.”