Cold Blooded

During my active duty years in the army I heard about all sort of cold blooded breakups between couples. Being honest here the vast majority of them were dudes callously ending medium to long term relationships with what I also have to admit were more often than not naïve young girls who somehow came to believe their Prince Charming had arrived. These very situations explain why decent guys often ask the question as to why women can be so merciless in their later relationships with other men. Yeah, it’s a vicious circle that only exacerbates emotional aguish and mistrust, which is good for no one.

That being said there have been times I have heard about women playing the cold blooded vixen and ending a relationship the way a serial killer often sadistically plays with its victim. I left the army behind many years ago but just yesterday I happen to overhear about a breakup that I believe takes the cake in being mean and vindictive.

My daughter, Darth Wiggles, had gone over to her best friend’s house yesterday morning allowing me a chance to get out of the house. I did not have enough time to see a movie so instead I headed over to the nearest Barnes and Noble bookstore to browse the aisles and generally decompress with a drink at their in-house coffee stand. It is a fairly small place and as it can be expected, easy to overhear some conversations.

After buying both a coffee and a magazine I took a seat at one of the nearby tables and settled in to relax and read. Just minutes later two guys took seats at the table to my left joining two other guys who were already there. All four looked to be early twenties, if not a little younger but what was obvious from the start, even for me, was that one of them was very upset on the verge of tears. The following dialog while not direct quotations follows fairly closely what was actually said.

“Michael,” one of the guys said who was already at the table when the other two arrived, “what’s wrong man? You look like someone has died.” Michael remained silent and in fact laid his head to the table and wrapped his arms around himself as if he wanted to go to sleep.

“Leave him alone Tom,” said the guy who had arrived with Michael, “Jenny just broke up with him.”

That information alone was apparently enough to illicit some respectful silence from the distraught Michael’s buddies for about a minute. That is until the third fellow decided to chime in.

“Come on dude,” he said “it can’t be that bad.” Apparently it was because Michael started crying like a baby. Like I said, the coffee area at this Barnes and Noble is rather small so it is easy to overhear conversations even if they are spoken at a normal volume. Have someone start to cry loudly and it will naturally draw the attention of anyone nearby.

“Yeah it was that bad,” the guy who had arrived with Michael said. “Jenny asked Mike here to go with her to buy some lingerie at Victoria’s Secret. She made a point of trying on the sexiest items and giving every indication that someone was going to have their wildest dreams realized later that night.”

There was a pause for a few seconds because the three coherent guys at that table became aware that Michael’s crying had drawn the attention of nearly everyone else. Eventually the individual telling the story kind of shrugged and finished explaining what happened.

“Once Jenny was done trying things on she took the stuff to the check out to pay for it. Mike told me the line was rather long and while Jenny and he were waiting he decided to grab her from behind to give her a hug and a kiss on the head to show his appreciation. That was when Jenny turned around and told him in front of everyone the lingerie was not for him and that they were breaking up. Top it all off the minute Jenny and Mike stepped out of the store her new boyfriend was there and they walked out together.”

I did not know any of those four guys and, naturally, have no knowledge of the type and depth of the relationship Michael and this Jenny must have established but the stunned silence coming from the two who were hearing the story for the first time was telling. Hell, I was blown away, like I said I have heard about some merciless breakups, and been on the wrong end of a few myself, but this one took the cake.