Pondering the Tired American Presidential Comedy

...Or we are the People our Parents warned us about.



Neither time nor circumstance has allowed me this weekend to indulge in my usual pastime of writing incredibly crappy fiction. This really sucks since I finally got around to writing outlines for two stories that actually verge on being decent, at least what can be called decent for me. For those who are wondering I spent the majority of the weekend chained to a wall in my house painting the woodwork and various doors in the hallway all the while pleading for beer as my wife stood over me with a whip and a microscope. After all that fun with the small amount of time I have remaining before I have to go back into third-shift mode I will endeavor to write about this unique and very comedic period of time called the American presidential election cycle.

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Living here in the American South there are times I seem to share a bizarre kind of kinship with the great primatologist Jane Goodall. Of course, instead of observing chimpanzees like the illustrious scientist the subjects of my observations are several species of conservatives ranging from the ignorant redneck convinced that the Rapture could occur any second to the narcissistic Randian comfortably secure in life so everyone else can go to Hell. It’s a fairly wide spectrum of individuals with scores of subtypes but the one thing that unites them is their hatred of President Obama.

I truly hate to offend most people, with the clear exception being the followers of Ayn Rand who I do loathe and would not piss on if they were on fire, but frankly I have had oodles of fun watching this collection of fruits and nuts do their best to work up an enthusiasm for Willard Mitt Romney. Even with what I will admit is a poor economy, tons of free flowing corporate money, and a nifty nationwide scheme to rig the election with new laws restricting inconvenient groups from voting Mittens is at best tied with the president.

From my personal observations of those saying they will vote for Mittens their support seems lukewarm at best as if they are resigned to the fact he has patiently stood in line waiting like a good fat cat for his nomination and will allow him his chance. All the while New Jersey’s fat boy, Florida’s boy wonder, and the long-suffering Jeb Bush wait and position themselves for 2016 if conservatives cannot quite convince the nation, and themselves, Obama is the antichrist.

Romney’s conservative credentials are as flawed as a Rolex watch on display in some roadside flea market and as shallow as a plastic kiddie pool bought at Wal Mart. If fact any person with a reasonably open mind could easily discover just how fast he went from the socially freethinking governor of Massachusetts desperate to out liberal the late Teddy Kennedy for his senate seat to being  “severely conservative” for his presidential runs.

Case in point was his instant transition from being for moderate levels of gun control while governor to proudly proclaiming his life time membership in the National Rifle Association when he ran for president in 2008. Little hint for those who do not know, the NRA offers a lifetime membership for the one-time fee of three-hundred dollars. So, while Mittens might have recoiled from them for years after that small check cleared he could then claim kinship with all those rabid Second Amendment types fearful of liberal storm troopers. Romney has changed positions so many times a credible response to senile Clint’s impassioned conversation with an empty chair would have been a Democrat having a chat with a pair of cheap flip-flops.      

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As for President Obama, it was an absolute certainty-on par with the sun rising every morning-that I will vote for him no matter what. President Obama pretty much represents my attitudes and beliefs on the direction the country needs to take in the twenty-first century. Is he perfect? Hell no! Anyone who ever expects the prefect president probably still believes in Santa and the Easter Bunny.

Once again, I do not mean to offend anyone but just as conservatives wish upon a star for the Second Coming of Ronald Reagan liberals spend far too much time expecting the appearance of some Messiah that will lead the American people to the proverbial land of milk and honey and a social utopia. It is a nice notion but impossible in the thing most of us call the real world. Personally, I would like Senator Bernie Sanders or former congressman Allan Greyson to be elected president but the likelihood of that happening is only slightly better than aliens landing on the White House lawn.

As much as I like Obama, I realize he is just a man subject to the same flaws, inconsistencies, and weakness that affect all us mortals. The fact that Obama holds the highest office in the land only makes those issues more problematic.  However, until someone comes up with a better system of government these are issues we will have to deal with. Expecting Obama to change the shape and course of a country as large and complex as the United States in four years is at the very least unrealistic. Throw in the very inconvenient fact forgotten by most liberals that at this point in time the American people are in a center-right frame of mind made worse by a very paranoid minority making any purposed progressive reform very difficult.

More to the point, in my ever-humble opinion liberal/progressives would be far better served to stop whining about the real and imagined faults of Barrack Obama and start working at the grassroots level to elect those types of politicians that they want to see in congress. Why do I even write something so basic and commonsense? Well, because while Progressives have wet dreams about a true man, or woman, of the people being elected unless that socialistic messiah has a duly cooperative congress nothing will be accomplished. Sure, we had our Occupy Movement but someone please explain to me what exactly they accomplished.

Yeah, they scared the living shit out of many reactionary conservatives but the Occupy Movement folded like a cheap suit once things got tough. In the medium to long term none of this stuff matters, the vast majority of elected officials have already sold their souls to the highest bidder just to secure their reelection. At the same time, the world continues to change at a pace that defies explanation. You have to figure that our political mindset mired in partisan bickering and twentieth century thinking will either be changed from the bottom up or overturned by some event. Because while we like to blame the politicians for all our problems they are just a reflection on those who elect them.