Business Theater of the Absurd

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Since I am already working with a severe mental deficit at the best of times, the cumulative effects of working third shift makes watching the morning news shows with the hosts explaining the theater of the absurd that passes as normal human affairs an added threat to the weak underpinning of my sanity. Nevertheless, the last hour of my shift will have me in front of some television in the company of my bagel and cream cheese trying to make sense of the verbal offal put forth by the talking heads. For me the morning news shows on the business networks are the worst with high paid heralds of free-market global capitalism almost daily making some outrageous remark that is either condescending to us working folks or showing blatant ignorance about matters outside their area of knowledge.

As a kid growing up in the South I got use to traveling preachers working the revival circuit during humid summer evenings standing in front of us sweating sinners with a fanatical gleam in his eye declaring someone a “Good Christian” and praising God that such people walk the earth. Such declarations by strange men faded into background static during my teenage years as summer revivals became less a chance to get on the right side of Jesus and more an opportunity to get on top of Savannah out behind the bushes. However, I must admit to be taken back a few months ago when I saw the same fanatical gleam in the eyes of one of the business journalist babes on a discussion panel declaring someone a “Good Capitalist.” I have known for a long time that the high and mighty business and investor class have long since sold their souls to the god of Profit but I was surprised to see such a similar religious zeal on someone whose job it is to inform and investigate instead take on the mantle of an acolyte, or better yet syncopate.

I would be terribly remiss if I did not bring up the words of the brunette hottie who is nearly drop dead gorgeous in her own right without having to resort to the silicone implants and countless bottles of peroxide like her Fox Business Channel cohorts. This fine example of a business journalist once declared that China was doing us a favor by selling us toys with lead paint and food with poisons. That earned her my lifetime award for heartless corporate shrill babe. I just hope when she gets around to having a few hatchlings of her own so she can really show her appreciation to China by giving them such toys and food.

The latest winner for me though was yesterday morning when one of brunette hottie’s cohorts was whining about all the money the airlines were losing in Europe being ground by the volcanic ash hanging over the continent. The dude openly wondered why they had not sent planes up in the air to see if there was any way over, under or around the ash produced by the volcano in Iceland. Now understand I have nothing against capitalism except when all common sense is abandoned. This guy’s worry was not over the thousands of people stranded in airports struggling to find other means to get home but over the hundreds of millions and possibly billions these airlines will lose with their planes staying on the ground.

Now dude should have been able to guess that all sorts of meteorologists and aviation experts were constantly pouring over satellite data concerning the ash and when it might clear out. A report I heard from a completely different source hours later did say a few planes were being sent up to check whether flights could start again; so dude had no need to get his knickers in bind because the experts knew what they were doing. I have to admit though to thinking the fun thing to do would be to throw whiner dude forcibly onto one of those planes checking out the ash levels in the atmosphere and then see how much he worried about the airlines losing money.

I'm sorry, I've just seen too many sons of bitches lately and this song came to mind: