Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Why they didn't get a Pulitzer, I just don't know.


I was sadden to hear today that my favorite reading material while I stand in line at the supermarket checkout waiting for the cashier girl and bagboy to decide who would cough up the cash to buy the home pregnancy test will stop publishing in a few weeks. Many times while waiting in the checkout line I would watch the ladies in line with me pull the Cosmo and Redbooks off the magazine racks to kill time. Truthfully, I would actually like to read the articles whose titles usually are blazing across the the cover of both magazines claiming new knowledge of the sexual fantasies going on the male mind I have yet to cowboy up enough to pull one off the rack and read it in public.






So as I waited in line many times watching the women reading about the twenty erotic positions every man would like his girlfriend to try I would instead grab a copy of the World Weekly News and read the latest exploits of Bat boy and view the secret Osama and Saddam gay wedding photos. Of course the best stories were the hard hitting journalism covering how the aliens from Omega Ceti 4 not only backed Bush in both the 2000 and 2004 elections but hacked the computers tallying the results. Poor Gore and Kerry, they just didn't know what stood against them. But the aliens greatest achievement was forcing Bush to run with the Cheney-tron 3000 robot with those pesky moral and ethical programs safely deleted. With World Weekly News going out I'm at a loss to know where from now on I'm going to find such high journalistic standards. Does anyone know if Fox News has a magazine?

10 comments:

Sanjay said...

The weekly world news will indeed be missed.
Faux news does not have a magazine but Bill O'lielly does have a web site. :)

Vigilante said...

Beach, I recommend the NY Post and the Washington Times. But Sanjay's recommendation will work for you when you are behind your keyboard.

Beach Bum said...

Sanjay, O'Reilly really has lost all his marbles. Keith Olbermann has far too much fun showing off O'Reilly's daily video/audio attempt to stick his head up his backside.

Vigil, read the Washington Times once on a trip to DC, strange little paper that seemed to be a major embarrassment to several of the locals I talked with.

This post was sort of an attempt to make one of my brothers, the Pastor, mad enough to leave a comment. Found out through my other brother, Joe Cool, that he has started to read my blog. Might have to be careful though, the Pastor is heavily armed and I'm thinking about going to the upstate in September to see them all.

Vigilante said...

Beach, if Joe Cool is actually reading your pages, I certainly will be more circumspect in what I say. I wouldn't want stuff to get back to Dragonwife.

(Oooops! Did I go to far? AGAIN?)

Beach Bum said...

Vigil, you are free to speak here. My brothers are bound by the honor code that prevents any troublesome leakage. Plus my brothers have skeletons in their closet that provide cover for any words that might be "spoken" here, some of the skeletons are in embarrassing picture form.

lime said...

how am i going to live without my regualr updates on batboy!!!!

thanks for the visit by my place,btw. :)

Keshi said...

Hoping u'll find something new that u'd love to read just as u did WWN.

Keshi.

Vigilante said...

That's a big relief, Beach: good to know that the Carolina Parrothead provides one of the few safe-houses on the 'Net!

The Zombieslayer said...

What d'ya mean WWN is going out? They're not going out of business, are they? That's horrible. It's the only thing at the checkout counter worth reading besides as you said all the sex stuff in Cosmo, which I too won't grab in public. Lucky for me, I used to live close to my cousin who would have both Cosmo and Vanity Fair on her coffee table.

Melvin said...

interesting post...
Thanks for sharing......


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Melvin
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