Saturday, January 21, 2012

Making My Own Paradise

The weather always seems unsettled these days with freezing temperatures one day and uncomfortably warm the next. Leaving the concerns about how humans are changing the global climate for the worse alone for a moment these swings in weather are Hell on my sinuses. Somehow I have avoided the worst of the recent changes but as I woke up this morning I felt the all too familiar throbbing pain of a category five headache building inside my head somewhere between my eyes. Thankfully a couple of Advil, a hot shower, and periodic sessions with a heating pad wrapped around my head seems to be keeping the pain down to a category three.

Of course today is primary day here in the intellectually challenged Palmetto State and while everyone here at the house has gone off I have had scores of people with the IQ's of brine shrimp call here desperately urging me to vote for what I feel are morally bankrupt individuals preaching impending doom. These callers have all the righteous zeal of your average suicide bomber and without going into details my exchanges with them have not gone well. Their one commonality is an utter hatred of President Obama and the belief he is singlehandedly destroying the fabric of the country. When I ask one of these political callers why don't the surviving and fearsome Republican four just unite behind one candidate to defeat this evil Darth Sidious-like person living in the White House all sorts of rusty knives are pulled out and plunged into the backs of these supposed knights on shining conservative horses .

Such is life I guess but given my unstable condition preventing coherent thought I have essentially retreated to my mental redoubt. Soft steel drum music is playing on the stereo, I am wearing my favorite Hawaiian shirt, and before long I will be drinking lemonade as I imagine myself someplace tropical. I am hoping my headache will be gone by the time polls close allowing me what I am sure will be a laugh riot as the various candidates spin the results.

           

16 comments:

Mr. Charleston said...

I doubt that it's the weather causing your distress BB. I believe it's the political climate. After all, how much hot air and bull shit can one state take? To bad you aren't feeling better and can vote for Herman Cain. I'm hoping Colbert can really expose the whole process for the obscenity it is.

Sarge said...

This hasn't even really started. We have another ten plus months to go. I find the dynamics of this Republican free-for-all amusing. The more the candidates attack one another the more ammuition they give the Democrats. And, it shows the total hypocrisy of the religious right in ways that are simply undefendable - backing a serial adulter and a non-Christian? Noot has his baggage and Mitt has his Caymen Islands
millions and IRS return. Paul has his racial letters and Santorum with his vest and idiot mouth marks him as a friggin wacko zealot.

Florida State @ Duke on ESPN...


Ron

lime said...

the sole motivation being rabid hatred of the current president is telling, no? if a candidate can't sell me on his or her merits and can only resort to attacking the other alternative then clearly there are no merits in that candidate.

hope your head feels better soon.

Beach Bum said...

Mr. Charleston: I slipped out a few minutes ago and voted Cobert/Cain. My headache is still with me but I have now pulled out the margarita mix and tequila.

Sarge: Yeah, the poop flinging will get intense again just as the new school year starts. And yes again, Newty is a bit of a paradox for people who claim to be anointed by God to snatch control of the nation from evil liberals.

Lime: Got to love Romney's offshore accounts and Newty's special moral dispensation for his struggles to save the country.

I can't escape from this asylum fast enough.

Windsmoke. said...

Politics alone is enough to give anybody a thumping headache, chuck climate change and global warming into the mix and you've got a real throbber on the way :-).

Pixel Peeper said...

I was watching the coverage by the media on and off, just to see if I could get a glimpse of something or someone I new from when I lived in South Carolina. I couldn't tell if CNN was at the church in Lexington we attended occasionally.

The whole thing is coming here next...!

If someone calls trying to solicit a vote, I start speaking German. Of course, that won't work with recorded calls. Damn.

Pixel Peeper said...

Oh - and I hope your sinus troubles disappear. Margaritas ought to help.

Beach Bum said...

Windsmoke: Its all over now and Romney lost the South Carolina primary so bad I almost feel bad for him. I mean it was a near total wipe out for someone who was leading the polls just a couple of days ago.

What a minute, forget what I said about feeling sorry for him, it freaking hilarious.

Pixel: I don't know if any of the news agencies were her in town. Since I felt bad I stayed home all day.

Have fun with all the political television commercials and phone calls.

Headache finally went away a couple of hours ago, now I have that strange empty feeling in my head like I am floating a few inches above everything. Of course, that could be my normal condition.

John McElveen said...

If I get ONE MORE CALL- I'll have that headache too! Great post Bro!

Feel better, and let's have a Cheeseburger in our own Paradise! ;-)

J

Nance said...

So, did you laugh? To keep from crying? Crap, Bum, they voted for the absolute worst of the pack! We never got a single phone call and I wish we had; it would have been a relief to go off on somebody. We voted--open primary and all--my spouse for Cain/Colbert and I for the most tolerable un-Mitt/un-Newt who can never be elected. You know, the kid in high school that was such a dweebmeister that it was too much trouble to hate him, so, other than the regular Thursday beating he got at the bus-stop, everybody just sorta left him alone to his own sick thoughts. That one.

I'm sorry for your poor sinuses. Heating pads are our friends.

Beach Bum said...

John: Still working with a nice Key West fantasy in my head. At least the phone calls are over for now.

Nance: Yeah, voted for Cobert/Cain, and when the polls closed and Newt was declared the winner it was a laugh riot for me.

Poor Mitt, he will more than likely still win the nomination but in all my life I have never seen anyone with less of a clue about real life than him.

Marja said...

Sorry all this excitement causing you so much headache. I will hope with you that the right person will be chosen and things get better. According to my son they are all puppets on a string anyway and when they don't dance they are in deep trouble. Hope he is wrong

Akelamalu said...

When I'm feeling down I take myself back (in my mind) to the Maldives with it's balmy sea and skies. Bliss.

goatman said...

I would not wish to be in your fair state when this political nonsense is going on. I would put the 410 shot through the screen and not listen to radio. Well . . . its over now and the palmettos have nominated an idiot. So much for southern intelligence (no insult to you in particular intended)

I think of the global warming effects as being akin to deleting much of the "shock absorber" function of a well functioning climactic system. Extremes result.

Green Eagle said...

Having just lived through the GOP clown car's visit to South Carolina myself, I must say that I found myself turning for solace to a nice Tori Richards Hawaiian shirt, and Israel Kamakawiwoʻole singing "Over the Rainbow."

I guess that's the only thing that works.

Darren said...

Cain/Colbert and I for the most tolerable un-Mitt/un-Newt who can never be elected. You know, the kid in high school cheap levitra that was such a dweebmeister that it was too much trouble to hate him, so, other than the regular Thursday beating he got at the bus-stop, everybody just sorta left him alone to his own sick thoughts.