Saturday, December 20, 2008

Christmas Sucks!



My greatest Christmas wish is for a fallout shelter that I can shut myself in and not come out of until after New Year's Day. The simplest way to explain my total and unabashed embrace of Scrooge-ism is that while some still find joy in the celebration of religious holidays or reconnecting with family and friends I find this season to be awash in hyper-commercialism and corporate induced anxiety.

A much to recent visit to the true local place of worship, the mall, resulted in the observation of various individuals barely able to cope with factors such as child expectations and financial realities. Little Johnny, standing defiantly in the electronics department clutching a Playstation 3, just didn't have a clue why mommy's credit card was a molten puddle in her pocketbook. While such events have been common for decades I have personally reached the age that I increasingly want to disconnect totally from the "holiday season". Instead of sugar plums dancing in my head I have visions of a peaceful quiet place cut off from this joyous time.

A better and less claustrophobic Christmas wish would be a sailboat that I could cruise around the Caribbean in until such time people are talking about Valentine's Day. Spending Christmas Day on some secluded beach away from the greater mass of civilization could, in theory at least, spark a small rebirth of holiday spirit. Especially if there is a nice jerk chicken stand nearby with cold beer. If anyone out there can help a suffering Beach Bum please contact me. I swear these damn Christmas carols and television specials, overdone holiday decorations, mall zombies, spoiled brats, in-laws, and holiday traffic are going to send me into a coma. Wasn't the Recession suppose to put a damper on all this shit?

20 comments:

a rose is a rose said...

i don't have my christmas spirit this year. i usually get it all in a giant slam, like i got smacked with it. it's missing

(not to worry, i was never a mall shopper or singer or the like. i DO love decorations though. i leave mine up ALL year long. i like tacky)

Stella said...

You know the cable Christmas music station? I password the channel so I'm not assaulted by Christmas music. Malls? I avoid them like the plague until January.

BB, I couldn't agree more. I've moved from seasonal depression to utter indifference.

oo7 said...

i want to buy something every festival but i never have the money to shop.
Unemployment sucks...

Beach Bum said...

Rose: I really need to get a video of some of what people set out for Christmas. I'm sure they cause a hundred fold increase in carbon omissions. Some people have their entire yard ablaze with various lights. As far as tacky is concerned I'm seriously into it.

Stella: I'm sure malls this time of the year are symptoms of a society that is truly sick. People are actually getting trampled to death for some piece of Chinese made crap that someone feels their child, husband, wife, uncle, cousin, or who the hell ever can't live without. I'm indifferent moving into disgusted.

Beach Bum said...

oo7: Welcome, and come back please. As far as buying stuff, my kids of course get something but I've told everyone in my family to just skip me. Of course if someone comes up with a sailboat that is another story.

oo7 said...

see my profile..i have written a bit !
will be back full time in FEb.

it's exam time..:)

how are u?

Beach Bum said...

oo7: I'm sorry man, the new username through me.

Distributorcap said...

i am gonna send you a video of the yule log and the xmas songs -- that will put you to sleep for the season

Pammy said...

Do ya need a second mate on that sailboat?? heh

maryjane said...

Just another fucked up day.Why so much fuss.Selfish people buyin things.No one cares for the ones without anything.a fucked up world this is.

Mike said...

Just not feeling it this year. I should be, but I am not. Guess I should just be thankful to be alive and let it go at that.

Suzan said...

I agree about just not getting it this year. Of course, the economy haz crashed; all our future monies haz gone to the (same) banksters who stole all our past monies; and, oh yes, nothing to buy but Chinese junk (not talking about a sailboat).

Keep me in mind for that second mate position. I loves to sail away.

Suzan

Randal Graves said...

This is the greatest non-naked lady post ever. I agree 752%. I was hoping that the one good to come from this shit economy would be the admittedly temporary death of Xmas.

I will say that I've seen a noticeable downturn in ostentatious yard displays. Kind of creepy when an entire street looks like a Wal-Mart.

MadMike said...

I did all of my Christmas shopping at Amazon.com. I did it because it is expected of me. It is, after all, Christmas, which has little to do with a kid named Jesus being born and everything to do with spending money that most people don't have just to make other people happy. I have two words to sum up this silliness: Bah humbug!!!!!!

lime said...

2 days before christmas and i feel like i want to crawl in a hole.

Utah Savage said...

I'm such a grinch I went to a group therapy session today and pretended I was a gay atheist and Prop 8 ruined my life. I had to explain what Prop 8 was and then I went on a bit of a tirade about the Mormon Church's $500 million should get their tax exempt status yanked. Like shooting fish in a barrel. They couldn't quite figure out why it would bother me, so I pretended to be gay and wanting to marry my beloved in California this Valentines, so now the Mormon's had not only ruined my Thanksgiving and Christmas, they had also ruined Valentines day. This is a group of elderly Mormon's with bipolar disorder. They think I'm the devil.

Beach Bum said...

DCap: Taking some Nyquil to sleep the last couple of days. Now if the yule long and some heavy drugs could knock me out until New Year's day we could ne in business.

Pammy: I'm ready, grab your gang and lets go.

MaryJane: Yeah, you about have it in the nutshell. And I'm afraid it came too close to home for me. Heard my son, Darth Spoilboy, whining about how his sister had more items under the tree. Now I had to remind him that his one item cost about as much as all his sister's stuff. I was raised to appreciate what I got, but I was far poorer.

Mike: Tell you the truth I know Christmas is for the kids but with all the whining I'm hearing from my own and overhear in abundance from others maybe we should have a nice Depression to bring things back into perspective.

Suzan: That's the other thing, Dear Lord with all the shit going on credit card companies are still running commercials showing rabid consumerism can bring happiness.

And you are more than welcome to join the crew.

Randal: Tried to incorporate a naked lady in all this but couldn't. A severe failure on my part that I will blame on my stomach bug. Writing has been hell with the keyboard floating in and out of reality so I'm taking a break. As far as yard displays go down here its almost thought of as a right so people still have put theirs up. I figure our amount of carbon emissions for all the electricity we have to generate for all the bright Santas and elves will increase the melting of the ice caps.

MadMike: I say it again just maybe we need a Depression to bring things back into balance. I will say this that while I freely admit to whining over all this crap I am doing a little something to change my ways. Doing volunteer work is very hard for me because of my family situation. But there is a program I'm joining call "Lunch Buddies" that pairs adults up with kids that generally have no real adult in their lives they can talk with over the issues they face. It take place in the kids school during lunch time and my work is sponsoring it so it won't interfere with me pulling my dad and house slave duties assigned by Dragonwife. Its a small step but its a start. Oh yeah, damn straight about Bah humbug.

Lime: Actually after writing these comments and with my drugs kicking in I figure I'll piss off my in-laws and wife by dressing up in my Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts again for Christmas dinner.

Lime bring the family and join the metaphysical cruise I'll be taking to the Caribbean. Pammy and Suzan are coming.

Utah: I wish you could have recorded the meeting, it would have been a trip. As I commented at your post on this subject and above here I'm dealing with a bug that has pretty much had me stop writing until I get over this stuff. But I'm working on a short story, set a few years in the future that has Mormons as post apocalyptic terrorists in an America recovering from a bird-flu pandemic. A Romney-like character declares Utah an independent nation and begins raiding federal supplies and camps dealing with the flu. The US president, really very busy, nukes various site in the new nation of Deseret and marches the army in after things quiet down. The Mormons them begin to pull an al Qaeda thing. I'll post it when its done.

Hopefully Prop 8 will be repealed sometime soon as well as "Don't ask-don't tell". People in California are far better than that but Don't ask-Don't tell will be a little harder.

Vigilante said...

This is the first Christmas ever for us without a Christmas tree or decorations. Our excuse is a 12 month old Doberwoman rescue. Trophy Wife and I and "The 3rd Unit" (Doberwoman) are grateful and happy and merry just to have ourselves safe and in reasonable good health.

I truly hope you are, too, Beach, as well as all the good and noble souls who gather over these pages to read your words.

Beach Bum said...

Vigil: Best wishes to you and your family. I am so looking forward to the day when the Christmas tree will be left in the attic unassemble.

Melvin said...

Great post...
Thanks for sharing......



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Melvin
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