Thursday, December 13, 2012

A South Carolina Second Coming?



"South Carolina is too small for a republic and too large for an insane asylum."

You had to figure that since Newty Gingrich was delusional enough to crawl out from under his rock and seek the presidential nomination for the Republican Party in the last election that others with questionable morals but a consuming need for political power would soon follow. Well, word is leaking out here in South Carolina that none other the Appalachian Trail walker himself, former governor Mark Sanford, is interested in returning to the highest elected office in the Palmetto State.

Not sure how many out there remember this but to recap just a few years ago good old boy Mark Sanford who was our governor at that time along with being “happily” married became involved with an Argentine lady. As with any illicit affair, it had its issues but theirs had the extra special problem of logistics in that his mistress actually lived in Argentina. Proving that a male’s small head can, and usually does, overwhelm the larger the good governor dropped everything one day, told most everyone around him he was going hiking in North Carolina, and caught an airplane headed way, way down south for some hot-blooded Latin love.

Most people would correctly guess a serving governor, even one of South Carolina, cannot just disappear for several days without it being noticed and that was the case with the Palmetto Lover Boy. Questions started swirling like a Kansas tornado in springtime and eventually the extramarital cat got out of the bag with the governor making a strange but tearful speech after he returned about how he had been a bad boy. Of course, with a state filled with sanctimonious type all sorts of cries for impeachment were heard but they eventually died away since the end of Sanford’s second term was rapidly approaching at that time.

With Mark Sanford’s political obituary being read by all pundits the forlorn guy sneaked out of office with his tail between his legs. Really no one should have felt sorry for the guy, the only exception being Rush Limbaugh who lamented he could have been the Republican JFK(See footnote at bottom), because he was back down in Argentina just a few weeks later.     

Now I am not sure how Sanford plans on returning to political life, he has already served two full terms but down here, but laws and the state constitution have always been very pliable things subject to quick change when they become inconvenient. Plus, from what little research I have done there is a chance that former governors may be limited to two consecutive terms allowing them to return after a short stint away from the state house. I swear, I started reading South Carolina’s state Constitution to find out for sure about the details but after five minutes I developed a huge headache that was well on its way to becoming a cerebral aneurysm. So there you have all the ugly, but passionate details of the soap opera that is Mark Sanford.   

Part of me wants to write that South Carolina is well on its way to becoming yet again the joke of the United States but I just do not know. Polls here suggest lover boy has a huge uphill climb before we see the political Second Coming of Mark Sanford and him basking in the glow of electoral victory. But it all boils back down to that curious delusional white haired, former Speaker of the House who unceremoniously dumped two wives during his political career and promoted his mistress to wife number three but yet felt compelled to declare himself morally upright enough to be the savior of Western Civilization and be taken seriously by his party and the press. Therefore, you have to admit Mark Sanford returning to power ain’t such a long shot after all.

(***FOOTNOTE: When I heard Limbaugh whine about how Sanford could have been their JFK it seemed obvious to me that historical irony was another fine nuance of life that escapes his dim mental capacity.) 

From Fits News:

Mark Sanford Mulls (Another) Gubernatorial Bid in 2014

 Despite a very poor showing in recent statewide polling, former S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford continues to plot a political comeback.  In fact it’s looking increasingly like the “Love Guv” – who was almost run out of office in 2009 due to complications stemming from an extramarital affair – has his eye on his old digs.
One source tells FITS that Sanford recently told a small group of supporters that he is “ninety percent” committed to running for governor – the office he held from 2003-2011.
Obviously Sanford faces an uphill climb.  According to a new Public Policy Polling (PPP) survey released this week, fifty-three percent of South Carolina voters have a negative opinion of him compared to just 30 percent who view him in a favorable light.  Among Republicans, 44 percent view him unfavorably compared to 39 percent who have a favorable impression.

“His prospects for a comeback to electoral office don’t look very bright,” PPP’s pollsters noted.
While Sanford’s numbers are abysmal, rumors about a possible comeback persist.
Why?  Because money talks … literally.
According to the latest filings at the S.C. State Ethics Commission, Sanford’s gubernatorial account (yes, the one from 2006) is sitting on $1.1 million – more than enough cash to embark on an image reclamation tour.  Various political groups affiliated with Sanford have another $200,000 squirreled away.
That’s more than enough money to be competitive …
And for all his faults as a candidate and executive, Sanford is a money-raising machine – with one helluva Rolodex.
He’s also gotten engaged to his former mistress – removing some of the stigma associated with his indiscretion.

11 comments:

Leslie Parsley said...

Frankly, I wouldn't be a damn bit surprised if he ran and got re-elected.

Life As I Know It Now said...

But you don't understand--when republicans fuck up it's okay as long as they say their sorry and have Jesus forgive and wipe away their sins.

This doesn't work for democrats of course but hey...

Pixel Peeper said...

Oh yes...I remember the whole sordid story!

Until the last sentence, I kept wondering if he still was with "his soul mate" - and then, of course, read that they have gotten engaged. So now that she's "legit" it ought to be OK to run for office, huh?

lime said...

i don'tknow if it's greater evidence of politician hubris or short memories of voters....tough i am inclined to think it's more about the hubris.

Randal Graves said...

It's a made-for-teevee movie.

Jerry E Beuterbaugh said...

Well, he wasn't actually caught in bed with either a dead girl or a live boy, and South Carolina really isn't all that different from Louisiana--is it?

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

I reckon politicians aren't like the rest of us. No matter what a politician gets caught doing, he's still convinced he's the best... the ONLY! person for the job. (I hear John Edwards is considering getting back into politics, too.) What's even worse is how often these dunderheads actually get re-elected. A county in metro Atlanta recently re-elected a sheriff who's currently under indictment for thirty-some felonies, and who cost that county millions of dollars when he was in office last time.

Mr. Charleston said...

This whole thing can be avoided if Mrs. Whatshername appoints Colbert to the senate. She'd be a shoe-in for re-election for sure.

Mycue23 said...

Ah, the joys of living in South Carolina. Just another day in paradise!

Beach Bum said...

Leslie: I actually think the state has moved further to the right than was Sanford's general political positions.

Life As I Know It: Yeah! I noticed that myself. It's funny too, in my Sunday school teachings it was the general idea that forgiveness was suppose go to someone else and not be a "Get Out of Jail Free" card for self-righteous hypocrites needing something to rationalize their bad behavior.

Pixel: "Okay to run for office" LOL!!! Yeah, looks like it.

Lime: I'd have to place a bet on both.

Randal: Yeah, written by Carl Hiassen after he dropped a couple of hits of acid.

Jerry: Sadly, those are really good and relevant points.

Susan: God help us all.

Mr. Charleston: No such luck.

Mycue: Ain't it the truth.

Mike Williams said...

Did South Carolina pass a law making it mandatory for all political candates to have at least one mistress. Maybe this is why Stephen Colbert wants too run for office.