Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thanksgiving? Not for the turkey






As I was sitting back in my favorite chair yesterday afternoon sipping yet another fine Mexican beer the very attractive and highly intelligent news babe on MSNBC was explaining how President Obama had just pardoned two turkeys from what I am sure they consider the annual Thanksgiving Day Turkey Holocaust. The two birds, both oblivious to the formal ceremony, are to be sent to Mount Vernon to what I am sure for them will be turkey heaven, bypassing the usual requirement of having an appointment with an axe.

It was a mildly amusing scene and as it closed and the news babe went on to other stories I zipped over to the Fox Noise Network seriously figuring the usual sock puppets that appear there would be foaming at the mouth about how those turkeys were evil Islamic/socialist terrorists out to destroy America. Since Obama cannot fart without the Fox crew screaming the sky is falling I was actually surprised at their lack of response. But honestly, as I moved on to other more productive endeavors I figure we will hear of the president's unconscionable and illegal turkey pardon at the next Republican debate. Which is funny since I have never seen a finer bunch of half-assed turkeys ever assembled on stage in my life.

Of course the final real thought I had on the subject as I walked over to pop a top on another beer is that if through voting by republicans or inaction by disgruntled progressives if anyone of those buttholes are elected president the American people will be the turkeys and we will deserve what those fine fattened gobblers usual get on this day.

To all my friends, have a Happy Thanksgiving!

And yes. my ass, along with my daughter Darth Wiggles who I am forcing to go, will be seeing the new Muppet movie sometime this weekend.   

11 comments:

Ranch Chimp said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your familia Bum ... today of course for myself is an annual ritual of football too ... the 10- 0 Packers will be @ the 7- 3 Lions, and the 2nd game will be the 3- 7 Dolphins @ the 6- 4 Cowboys, the Packers and Cowboys were favoured by +7 on the lines I last seen, but DO NOT take the 2011 Lions lightly, they shocked many this year, and I am a long time Packers fan also ... and the Cowboys 2011 well ... heh, heh, heh, heh, heh , they can be up by 21 point's the entire bloody game and lose the damn game in the last 5 minute's this year, geeeezz ... and you can bet Miami will bring their best to Dallas!

FUNNIES: Many year's back Bum, I worked with this guy who was a big football fan, and we would review game's in chat every monday morning, he really knew his shit too. The guy was also gay, and would make these joke's about the player's and such. One day he asked me ... Hey Tom, what would be the favourite gay football match up? I said "I dunno Rick" ... he said the Packers and Oilers (old Houston Oilers) ... get it? geeeezz man Once he told me ... "Do you know why the running back's and receiver's run and try so hard to make them big playz?" I said something like "To score man" ... he said ... "No Tom, it's so they can get that pat on their asses after by the team ... " ... this guy was cold blooded ... but a realm laugh!

Later Dude ....

Kold_Kadavr_flatliner, sub/dude said...

God blessa youse -Fr. Sarducci, ol SNL

Jim said...

Turkeys of the World, Unite!

Windsmoke. said...

We don't celebrate thanksgiving down here in OZ, anyway happy thanksgiving. Bonza video of the the turkey turning the the tables on the chef :-).

Pixel Peeper said...

Happy Thanksgiving!

(I spent the week at work answering the question if we celebrate Thanksgiving in Germany with, "No, we didn't have pilgrims and Indians there.")

lime said...

hope you had a great day with whatever unpardoned turkey adorned your table. also hoping to see the muppet movie ;)

Akelamalu said...

Hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful Beach :)

Green Monkey said...

THAT was really funny Parrothead! :) and just what the doctor ordered (since I don't drink beer for breakfast)

Randal Graves said...

I'm not giving thanks for Matt Stafford, three goddamn picks!

Liberality said...

I hope you had a fine Thanksgiving and enjoyed the movie.

I didn't eat any turkey as usual but I did make a feast to eat and, yes, I ate too much. After cleaning up, I rested for an hour. I didn't have to listen to one football game, see one redneck, hear one stupid anti-Obama joke, listen to relatives spout off Fox News talking points or listen to guys belch after eating too much, talking too loud, and drinking too much beer.

Instead, I had my grown children and grandchildren come visit me at my apartment, we ate a big meal sans turkey or meat, and then they went off to visit other relatives far and wide. I had a most enjoyable holiday!

Beach Bum said...

Ranch: I was going for the Lion before the game but during it they proved to be such a bunch of douchebags I switched over to the Packers.

Kadavr: Welcome!

Jim: Only as long as I can still buy my Boar's head honey-maple turkey. Cut thin for sandwiches.

Windsmoke: In many ways I wish I had the opportunity to join you folks down under. These people up here are crazy.

Pixel: Thanks Pixel! Hope you and your family had a good one as well.

Lime: Going today, if we can fight our way through the zombies driving to the mall.

Akelamalu: It was great, although the Dallas Cowboys won there football game. That was a bummer.

Green Monkey: Its always five o'clock somewhere.

Randal: Was going for Detroit until they proved themselves to be just what you said.

Liberality: My mom-in-law is here with us until tomorrow, despite by sympathy about her husbands resent passing she is on my last nerve.