The very fact that my lovely wife would even suggest an unplanned weekend getaway should have sent me to DEFON-1 and running off to some undisclosed location. It was a typical Thursday night last week with the kids watching South Park upstairs and me dozing on the couch counting down the minutes until the time I had to leave for work. I’m not sure what Dragonwife was watching on television but it was sufficiently boring that I was caught up in my usual fantasies of dark-skinned ladies wearing skimpy bikinis on a white sandy beach next multiple coolers filled with ice cold beer as equally hot ladies wearing Hooters “uniforms” watching over tables loaded with food.
“How about we go away this weekend?” Dragonwife asked suddenly as a raven-haired beauty and I cavorted under a palm tree with beer, chips, salsa, and a bottle of edible sun block.
“What about the kids?” I asked back figuring that would derail any possible marital adventure.
“My mom has agreed to watch Wiggles at her house and Spoilboy can stay home alone.” She responded strangely certain as if this were not some futile exercise in wishful thinking. My wife simply does not come out with impromptu plans; she and her kinfolk are just not genetically capable of being spontaneous. All events and vacations have to be planned down to the second, any deviation and they melt down in puddles of molten metal and electronic circuits.
“Sure,” I say playing along, “where are we going?”
“Some place I am sure you will enjoy.” She said with me, as expected, thinking the coast.
Hindsight being what it is I now realize her wording of our exact destination for a fun weekend was excessively vague. So early Friday afternoon we "took care" of the kids sending one with her grandmother and stocking the refrigerator for the other hoping the food supply lasted out the day. We are talking a teenage boy here and figuring all four frozen pizzas, three bottle of sodas, and about twenty microwaveable meals could be gone by Saturday night we left a twenty for pizza money but only to be used in case of an emergency. Earlier that morning after work I had run a bunch of errands getting stuff ready so I was very tired and was frankly a danger if I tried to drive. After some final wrangling over what we would listen to on the radio Dragonwife drove away from the house with me not so slowly dozing off with me wondered what we would do on the beach that evening.
Needless to say, I was very surprised to find myself nowhere near the ocean after waking up. However, it turned it turned out to be a great weekend, except for a visit to a certain unnamed art museum.
|Our real destination was the Magnolia Inn bead and breakfast located in Chester, South Carolina. The house was originally built in 1903 during the heyday of the textile industry in the south. If I remember correctly a doctor and his family bought the house in 1911 after spending time in China as missionaries. Both he and later his son practiced medicine in that house up until 1977. After that I have forgotten but the current owners bought it sometime around 2005 and converted it to its current use.|
|This is the room Dragonwife and I stayed in, the early twentieth century decor was undisturbed except for the forty inch television mounted over the fireplace.|