Monday, November 8, 2010

Three New Babies and a Busted Dad



Call me a sentimental fool but I couldn’t help but smile when I heard the crying of a very new born baby in the delivery room next door to the empty one I was working in. Since I had entered the empty delivery room about an hour before to make a few adjustments on the surgical table I had listened to the organized chaos next door seeing the dance of doctors and nurses around the expectant mother in my mind’s eye. The actual conversations were extremely muffled to the point they were unintelligible but the screams of the mother and, finally, the cries of the baby were not.

I figured I would soon see the staff taking the most actively involved people next door to the recovery room but instead I heard the professional demeanor of the doctors’ return with mama again slowly ramping up the volume on whatever she was saying. When she started screaming again I was able to figure out what the deal was with the cries of a second baby. A small cheer erupted, I guess from the hospital staff, but it was immediately muted with mama beginning a new round of huffing and puffing which morphed into the sounds of exhausted moaning. While I still couldn’t understand the words leaking through the wall I did detect some concern in the subdued voices and that went on for several minutes.

Finally a new round of cries began with me figuring that the third and, hopefully, final baby had entered the world. The cheers that emerged through the wall then pretty much confirmed my assumption and from my time waiting for other surgical rooms in the past I could hear tale tell sounds of everything winding down. Now if I wasn’t such a nosy fool I would have ignored the following events but sometimes you can’t really go against your basic nature but at least I got a belly laugh out of it.

Just as I was packing my tools up I saw staff starting to pass my door. Since I had become somewhat emotionally involved with the proceedings I stepped out into the hallway to do an impromptu inspection of the sterilizer situated in a small alcove. I was quickly rewarded with the sight of three babies being wheeled out of the room in small hospital basinets by smiling nurses.

The leading baby was wearing a pink skullcap and while I understand the deal about the vision of new born babies being fuzzy she had her eyes open checking out the world. I’m big on first impressions and if they one that hit me was true that little one is going to be the next Albert Einstein. I could feel an intense intelligence emanating from the kid and said a small prayer hoping she can use it to straighten out a messed up world.

The next baby was wearing a blue cap and was sound asleep. It’s easy to figure being born is exhausting for the babies as well as the mom and hell, little dude had surely earned a nap. The thought that passed through my mind about that one was that the baby thing bored him and he wouldn't want to be bothered with much until preschool started.

The third and finally little one had his eyes open like his sister but where I saw a powerful intelligence in her this little dude seemed to shouting “Shaka Brah” to the world. Feeling pretty good myself I did the signal with the thumb and pinkie extended on my right hand with the other fingers closed and flipped my wrist a couple of time while saying “Life is good brah”. Of course that earned me a disapproving scowl from the nurse in charge of the baby but I don’t like her to begin with. I could clearly see that little dude catching some knarly waves on the North Shore years in the future.

The new mom followed soon after and while I have no idea whether her delivery was natural or C-section she was conscious with the head of her bed slightly raised. Even after what was certainly a grueling experience to say the very least, I’ll be damned but the new mom looked radiant. Her blond hair was dripping in sweat and hung in clumps around her head but she had this glow that shined through even though it was easy to tell she was utterly exhausted. She passed by me talking with the nurse pushing her bed and to my surprise she actually seemed giddy.

“I’m glad I’ll never have to go through that again.” I thought I heard her say but the nurse started laughing and I may have misunderstood.

Now the new dad was a total basket case the minute I saw him emerge from the delivery room. Both he and his wife could not have been much beyond their early thirties but where his wife was beaming after everything he looked distraught. The doctors involved in the delivery had escaped in the opposite direction leaving the new dad to follow his kids and wife alone. He slowly shuffled passed me and paused momentarily with this forlorn look.

“I have triplets,” he said to me smiling but looking lost, “and I will never have sex again.

“You got that one right bucko!” I heard his wife yell back. I had just enough time to pat the guy sympathetically on back then jump back in and close the door to the delivery room I had been working in before I broke down and started laughing my butt off.

28 comments:

Jack Jodell said...

Great story, Beach! It had me laughing pretty hard, too! :-)

David Barber said...

Excellent story, mate. How dumb is that bloke that he ever thought there was a chance of sex at all after having kids?? LOL!!

TomCat said...

How wonderful it is that life brings such moments to give respite from care to rejoice. You presented it with your usual excellence.

Teresa said...

Without getting too graphic here, if any of you guys knew what it felt like to push a baby out through a space not quite large enough for it to say "hello world" I'm sure you understand the lack of commitment this women has PLUS she did the THREE times in a short space of time, OMG! I do feel for them, they won't have time for anything...but I can say life after kids, not so bad (:

Liberality said...

Three babies all at once! Poor parents--they are already outnumbered. :)

Pixel Peeper said...

I love it - she didn't lose her sense of humor even after the ordeal of giving birth to triplets.

Boy, I sure hope they have a lot of help around the house!

Marja said...

What a touching amazing excellent story, Beach. Loved it.Pericles of life but a life with 3 babies Poor parents. It is already hard to start with one. But this lady can pull it off I feel she is strong, like mothers are.

Jessica said...

Awesome story! :)

Gwendolyn H. Barry said...

You have just made the largest goodest difference in my day, Beach! It's said that news of weddings and births are the very best of luck. If so, you have dispensed huge buckets full here...
Thanks so much for the good day you've set me on!

lime said...

THIS is a fantastic slice of life in your work world. you tell the story so well and paint such a clear picture. i can see each personality shining through. i guffawed at the very end. poor dad. LOL

oh...and as a mom who had c-sections...including one where the epidural didn't take full effect and i felt EVERYTHING....that you heard mama screaming and she came out sweat covered tells me she did her own work.

Beach Bum said...

Jack: This happened a couple of weeks ago, first mentioned it on Facebook and had decided to go deeper into the story since my "Big Project" is tits up for right now.

David: LOL!!! Yeah, the dad is metaphorically screwed at least until the teenage years. Dude, going to need your input on something I dug up from deep on my hardrive. I'll post it hopefully by Sunday. Its something "serious" and aside for the typos I know will number like rabbits in a pet shop I want your opinion on the story itself.

Tomcat: I'm still burned out on politics, got no use for any of the twits right now. Had to write something that would perk me up.

Teresa: Was with my daughter at Riverbanks Zoo last Sunday and we were in the aquariam looking at seahorses and it was noticed by several ladies that one of the MALES was pregnant. Several comments were said something about "justice" and I got the hell out of there.

Liberality: Thats why I figure what I thought I heard the mother say was true and that New Dad might want to develop a strenous hobby in the coming years.

Pixel: I sure did just with out two kids. Of course I have changed diapers since I was at least 6 or 7so it nothing big for me.

Marja: Yeah, the mother kept her sense of humor when I actually expected her to be passed out. Now New Dad I'm a little worried about.

Jessica: Thank you, like I said above somewhere. I'm bummed out about several things (politics and other assorted A-holes) and needed something to pick me up.

Gwen: Luck?!?! I sure could use some, like the lotto winning kind.

Lime: It's a club all but the most lucky have to join. Nuff said.

tnlib said...

Love this story that you write so well. There's a reason giving birth is called "labor." There's also a reason women get to do the honors. : )

Beach Bum said...

Tnlib: Yeah, most guys I know and I include myself couldn't handle giving birth to a baby.

Randal Graves said...

You can't fool us, this is all part of your state's secret plan to foster a culture of abstinence upon the rest of America!

Middle Ditch said...

Three!!!!! Three!!!! Oh my goddo!!!!

Lovely story Beach. You are so good in doing this and hey look me up on facebook. Would love to befriend you there too!

AYATOLLAH TRUTHMENI 101 said...

I only hope the two parents get their triplets off their payroll before I get my three kids off mine.

Beach Bum said...

Randal: Dude, it ain't working even here, I know far too many families with at least 7 kids. I know one family with 13 kids, but while being republicans at least they are decent folks. I wouldn't let my daughter marry into that family though.

Middle Ditch: At work and cannot get Facebook here but will look you up when I get home.

Truthmeni: Hell, I'm just looking forward to getting my son in college.

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

So, the mom still looked pretty hot, huh? LOL

Beach Bum said...

Will: Not touching that one with a hundred-foot pole, even I have some decency. Stop laughing dammit!

Ranch Chimp said...

Well put together story as far as the personal touch to it, although I'm not a writer or worthy of title as a critic because such. But it sound's great to me anywayz, personally speaking. The whole birth thing is a trip to me, I have 3 daughter's (born individually) ... but my heart I must say goes out to those who carry and deliver the infant for 9 or so month's, having attended and witnessed the birth of my daughter's ( one was C- section because of a car accident, but came out great and is a working adult professional today ), I'm talking about the burden, pain, etc ... even though after all, women consider it great and beautiful ... but look's to me as a male ... one Hell of a painful experience ( in attendance, I was more scared than the women who gave birth to my daughter's! ) and make's me glad I dont have to go through it. I try to be very careful when it come's to getting any lady pregnant for this reason as well, because I dont want to burden the lady I care for ... my daughter's were all planned and encouraged specifically on the woman's part, not that I dont love kid's or having them, I love my daughter's dearly, and raised them with love ... I was just reluctant through life to advocate pregnancy. But great story Guy!

TomCat said...

Beach, I can't say that I blame you. It took several long, frustrating years to bring Vietnam to an end. I look forward to your second wind.

Tim said...

Perhaps the rhythm method may not work for them. I'd say turn off the music and get a vasectomy.
Or get a blog.......

rainboy said...

haha , never have sex again lmao :D

許百美 said...

IS VERY GOOD..............................

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Dave Dubya said...

I was always too young to have kids. Now I'm too old to have them. At least now I'm happily retired.

Suzan said...

Aha!

So this is where you've been spending your time.

Kudos!

S

TomCat said...

Get your lazy beach bummin' butt Back here!! ;-)