Sunday, June 20, 2010
Typical Teenager's Room
My son, Darth Spoilboy, is an all too typical teenager in many ways but none more than the usual condition of his room. As you can see in the picture clothes, musical instruments, video games, and things I can't identify litter his floor at any given moment. Especially worrisome are the abandoned eating utensils and food packaging which at times can take on the looks of an archeological dig site or crime scene.
You have not lived until you find a McDonald's Double Cheeseburger that has fossilized and harden to the point that if attached to the end of a rocket it would beat depleted uranium as an anti-tank weapon. Such is not the case for some snack cakes, I found a Little Debby oatmeal creme pie left on a plate under his bed one time that my son swears he forgot about months before. The texture and smell of the snack cake looked fresh and ready to eat like it had been made just the day before. No, at one time just out of brain-dead curiosity I would have taken a bite but my digestive track is just not what it use to be so I tossed the snack cake in the trash.
Some might wonder when or if my son ever cleans his room. Yes he does clean his room from time to time but if he is not supervised the assorted debris you see on the floor would just be pushed inside his closet to make one large mound. After such a cleaning I just accept that his room is uncluttered and ignore what might evolving in the mound on the other side of his closet door no matter what strange sounds might be heard.
This is his room after a complete cleaning and resulting genocide of several species of lifeforms that had emerged from biosphere consisting of the stuff in his closet. One species was close to developing nuclear weapons but with their eradication the intelligence of South Carolina again fell to its usual sorry levels.
You might be wondering is how long would his room remain in such a pristine condition? The short answer, of course, is not nearly long enough but I have actually timed the degradation from a healthy and orderly environment to complete chaos again to around two days. If such a clean up should happen on a Friday the usual rush of friends and video game playing can reduce the time to about an hour, even faster if pizza delivery or a Taco Bell run is involved.