Heart and Mental Status Update

 

Since I somehow found time to expose my growing fears several days back, I guess I might as well give an update on my ongoing heart problems.

All things considered, compared to others also on the transplant list waiting for a heart, I’m doing pretty good within a certain point of view. Namely that I’m “healthy” enough to still be working at my job. My cardiac arrhythmias are still under control by the medicine the doctors put me on back in October. Great news, you might say and while yes it’s true the devil is in the details.

Namely that I’m living in a box. I get up and go to work. Come home, eat dinner, go to bed just to do it all again. While that sounds like a pretty typical routine even for healthy people, I feel like my existence is confined inside a small box. For the first few months this routine was tolerable but as time has passed it is becoming difficult. While the wife can travel, I can’t leave the country. Not because of any physical limitations but if my arrhythmias should hit me out of the country I’m screwed. Long story short, we’re talking massive problems with possible healthcare costs outside the range of my insurance and even larger costs in getting my stupid ass back to Charleston.

Throw in that all but one of my off days since leaving the hospital in October have been me driving down to Charleston to get poked and prodded by my doctors. The icing on this cake is that my employer, who will remain anonymous has saw fit to pick this moment to increase the workload by everyone in the department. Without seeing fit to hire extra help. Part of the reason when I get home I just collapse on the couch and zone out. Finding the energy to even concentrate on a book after getting ready for bed is tough.

Let me add that I am seeing a psychiatrist to help me with the mental gymnastics brought on by having to deal with everything associated with waiting for and having a heart transplant.

Then there is the growing fascist nightmare that is Trump and the Republicans. Not in the mood to delve deeper in my fears on this one right now.

So to anyone who might read this I hope you’re doing okay. I’ll try to post more but it all depends on my energy levels. And give how badly I hear the locals complain about liberals I might have been rounded up and thrown into one of the interment camps that the MAGAs are promising to build for illegals. News flash, once the illegals are “dealt with” they’ll be coming for the next scapegoat.

Toodles and Good Luck!