Saturday, September 6, 2014

Canine Territorial Incursions

Being that I normally work nights, I don't get to sleep with my wife during the workweek. It is only on Friday and Saturday nights that I am able to sleep like a normal person beside my wife. This has not hurt our relationship, we're both adults and realize we have to do it to keep the family financially afloat in these strange and difficult times. That being said, my absence has caused some strain with the two canine members of the family.

See my spouse, Dragonwife, lets the two dogs sleep with her during the week. Once again this isn't a problem except on the weekend when I rightfully reclaim my spot in our king's sized bed. Ideally, this shouldn't be an issue since the two dogs are rather small. However, anyone who lets their dogs sleep with them knows that just isn't the case.

With my sleeping habits screwed sixteen ways to Sunday because of my job I tend to call it quits early on Friday nights. When I write early I generally mean around nine o'clock, which would send shivers of indignation down the spine of my younger self. I have always been a bit of a night owl with the strange alternating tendency of getting up early in the morning. I guess I have to take this as evidence that my advancing age has exceeded my bodily rhythms. My wife and the dogs stay up a little later, so I am asleep when they finally come to bed. The newest dog, Dixie, immediately goes under the covers and takes a position at the foot between my wife and I. The other dog, Sparky, scoots close to me for a few hours before moving over to sleep next my wife.

Given the size of the bed there is room enough for everyone to be comfortable. The problem comes when I have to go to the bathroom or get some water during the night. As soon as I get up, the dogs decided to redraw the territorial map leaving me without any space. I then have the options of either retreating to the sofa or forcefully carving out some space. Needless to say, the easiest option is just to give up and go to the couch. After dealing with this situation for years, I finally decided to take a picture of this strange situation after discovering the cartoon above. I find a great deal of comfort knowing that apparently I am not the only one dealing with such a scenario. Below is a picture taken last Sunday morning, please note I had to get special clearance from Dragonwife because she had long forbid me from publishing any photographs of her on the internet.


joeh said...

No couch! Move the dogs and reclaim your rightful space or they will deem you lower in the pack the pack leader.

I know, easy to say, but they are so cute. Funny stuff!

Pixel Peeper said...

Any chance you could carry the dogs to the couch? Or Dragonwife?

I know...probably easier said than done. :-p

My last pet, Smokey, used to sleep at the bottom of the bed. I still, five years after she died, find myself stretching out, trying to reach for her with my toes.

Beach Bum said...

Joeh: Yeah, I should reclaim my territory but the disruption as both dogs and wife try to get comfortable again sometimes just ain't worth the hassle. The few times I do exert my authority I find I can't get back to sleep.

Pixel: What did the great Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu say about wars you can't win? Something along the lines of don't even start it. That's my predicament.

Cirze said...

Thanks, BB.

This essay and those pics have had me laughing for the last 10 minutes!

You have got to go into comedy writing.

So funny.

So sad.

So American with that big bed that's more than big enough for a few more animals!

Love ya,