Sunday, September 9, 2012

Pondering the Tired American Presidential Comedy

...Or we are the People our Parents warned us about.

Neither time nor circumstance has allowed me this weekend to indulge in my usual pastime of writing incredibly crappy fiction. This really sucks since I finally got around to writing outlines for two stories that actually verge on being decent, at least what can be called decent for me. For those who are wondering I spent the majority of the weekend chained to a wall in my house painting the woodwork and various doors in the hallway all the while pleading for beer as my wife stood over me with a whip and a microscope. After all that fun with the small amount of time I have remaining before I have to go back into third-shift mode I will endeavor to write about this unique and very comedic period of time called the American presidential election cycle.


Living here in the American South there are times I seem to share a bizarre kind of kinship with the great primatologist Jane Goodall. Of course, instead of observing chimpanzees like the illustrious scientist the subjects of my observations are several species of conservatives ranging from the ignorant redneck convinced that the Rapture could occur any second to the narcissistic Randian comfortably secure in life so everyone else can go to Hell. It’s a fairly wide spectrum of individuals with scores of subtypes but the one thing that unites them is their hatred of President Obama.

I truly hate to offend most people, with the clear exception being the followers of Ayn Rand who I do loathe and would not piss on if they were on fire, but frankly I have had oodles of fun watching this collection of fruits and nuts do their best to work up an enthusiasm for Willard Mitt Romney. Even with what I will admit is a poor economy, tons of free flowing corporate money, and a nifty nationwide scheme to rig the election with new laws restricting inconvenient groups from voting Mittens is at best tied with the president.

From my personal observations of those saying they will vote for Mittens their support seems lukewarm at best as if they are resigned to the fact he has patiently stood in line waiting like a good fat cat for his nomination and will allow him his chance. All the while New Jersey’s fat boy, Florida’s boy wonder, and the long-suffering Jeb Bush wait and position themselves for 2016 if conservatives cannot quite convince the nation, and themselves, Obama is the antichrist.

Romney’s conservative credentials are as flawed as a Rolex watch on display in some roadside flea market and as shallow as a plastic kiddie pool bought at Wal Mart. If fact any person with a reasonably open mind could easily discover just how fast he went from the socially freethinking governor of Massachusetts desperate to out liberal the late Teddy Kennedy for his senate seat to being  “severely conservative” for his presidential runs.

Case in point was his instant transition from being for moderate levels of gun control while governor to proudly proclaiming his life time membership in the National Rifle Association when he ran for president in 2008. Little hint for those who do not know, the NRA offers a lifetime membership for the one-time fee of three-hundred dollars. So, while Mittens might have recoiled from them for years after that small check cleared he could then claim kinship with all those rabid Second Amendment types fearful of liberal storm troopers. Romney has changed positions so many times a credible response to senile Clint’s impassioned conversation with an empty chair would have been a Democrat having a chat with a pair of cheap flip-flops.      


As for President Obama, it was an absolute certainty-on par with the sun rising every morning-that I will vote for him no matter what. President Obama pretty much represents my attitudes and beliefs on the direction the country needs to take in the twenty-first century. Is he perfect? Hell no! Anyone who ever expects the prefect president probably still believes in Santa and the Easter Bunny.

Once again, I do not mean to offend anyone but just as conservatives wish upon a star for the Second Coming of Ronald Reagan liberals spend far too much time expecting the appearance of some Messiah that will lead the American people to the proverbial land of milk and honey and a social utopia. It is a nice notion but impossible in the thing most of us call the real world. Personally, I would like Senator Bernie Sanders or former congressman Allan Greyson to be elected president but the likelihood of that happening is only slightly better than aliens landing on the White House lawn.

As much as I like Obama, I realize he is just a man subject to the same flaws, inconsistencies, and weakness that affect all us mortals. The fact that Obama holds the highest office in the land only makes those issues more problematic.  However, until someone comes up with a better system of government these are issues we will have to deal with. Expecting Obama to change the shape and course of a country as large and complex as the United States in four years is at the very least unrealistic. Throw in the very inconvenient fact forgotten by most liberals that at this point in time the American people are in a center-right frame of mind made worse by a very paranoid minority making any purposed progressive reform very difficult.

More to the point, in my ever-humble opinion liberal/progressives would be far better served to stop whining about the real and imagined faults of Barrack Obama and start working at the grassroots level to elect those types of politicians that they want to see in congress. Why do I even write something so basic and commonsense? Well, because while Progressives have wet dreams about a true man, or woman, of the people being elected unless that socialistic messiah has a duly cooperative congress nothing will be accomplished. Sure, we had our Occupy Movement but someone please explain to me what exactly they accomplished.

Yeah, they scared the living shit out of many reactionary conservatives but the Occupy Movement folded like a cheap suit once things got tough. In the medium to long term none of this stuff matters, the vast majority of elected officials have already sold their souls to the highest bidder just to secure their reelection. At the same time, the world continues to change at a pace that defies explanation. You have to figure that our political mindset mired in partisan bickering and twentieth century thinking will either be changed from the bottom up or overturned by some event. Because while we like to blame the politicians for all our problems they are just a reflection on those who elect them.


Pixel Peeper said...

Your post reminded me of this:

lime said...

a reflection of those who elect them indeed. really though, i just want this election season to be over.

JUDI M. said...

The president (not Obummer, not Barry, not that Muslim in the White House or whatever) came into office under the illusion that EVERYBODY was working for the same thing: the betterment of this entire country. He got a rude awakening. The Tea Party succeeded in the 2010 midterms with their lies and racist scare tactics. Now the entire country has gotten a rude awakening. But they still cling to the idea that Obama is "not like them." All my FOX watching relatives, college educated, will be the death of me the next two months!

Windsmoke. said...

Seems to me Barrack Obama is the only choice for the American people, that's if they want to move forward. From where i'm sitting the opposition looks a bit fake and not much chop at all. I'm only going on the scant news reports we get down here on the t.v. & radio.

Mike Williams said...

Hi, politics increases my not insubstantial senile agitation. The president has done an adequate job considering the circumstances. Truly the major problems lie with the congress; obstructionism, pork, and the "get re-elected at any cost" politics on both sides of the aisle. Why are there only two sides of the aisle?
I agree with Windsmoke that the opposition not only looks but smells fake as well.
hmm? "Senile agitation" Maybe time to start writing again.

Mr. Charleston said...

Truth be told, Mittens is a conservative. We need to find another term for the whack jobs that call themselves "true" anything. But know exactly what you are going through, don't forget, I live in Baja Georgia.

svmims said...

It is difficult to be "friendly" to you with all your ignorance and lies. You really need more education. I would like to give you your private president (Obumma).
The country needs Mitt Romney.

Life As I Know It Now said...

you have attracted trolls, haha :)

I am voting for Obama of course but it seems like a wasted vote here in redneck Indiana.

Randal Graves said...

The only man we can trust: ZOMBIE DIO 2012.

You need to build a treehouse so you can hide and work on your writing projects instead of having precious time wasted with painting doorways.

Jim said...

Who is svmims and why do we care? Moving on, I agree with Mike. Why only two parties? At best, we only have one party, which has two factions, but pretty much follow the same policies and are owned by the same people.

Rose L said...

"As much as I like Obama I realize he is just a man subject to the same flaws, inconsistencies, and weakness that affect all us mortals. The fact that Obama holds the highest office in the land only makes those issues more problematic. However, until someone comes up with a better system of government these are issues we will have to deal with. Expecting Obama to change the shape and course of a country as large and complex as the United States in four years is at the very least unrealistic."
You said it!! No one can fix anything in a short time that took many years to dissolve!
Obama needs time!

Beach Bum said...

Pixel: Yeah, I agree completely. I have been called to task several times by people on the internet saying my view of Teabaggers is in itself bigoted. That they are just caring Americans upset with excessive spending.

When I meet a Teabagger that above all else is not in a rabid rage over Obama in the White House and can prove to me they were just as crazy as Bush doubled the national debt I will apologize.

Lime: Despite the nifty propaganda we are not the country we like to believe we are.

Judi M.: It really is remarkable at the undisguised hatred Teabaggers have for Obama. Politics is one thing, its always been dirty but there was a line that people just did not cross.

That line seems to have evaporated.

Windsmoke: Absolutely! If Romney had some sort of core beliefs that would be one thing. But it is incredibly easy to look up his record and see how fast he went from a moderate to liberal Republican to arch-conservative.

Mike Williams: I absolutely agree, we need a third or forth party. I also believe that we need to remove all the dirty money from political campaigns although I admit that is next to impossible. Don't think I am giving Obama a free pass on his job performance, he screwed the pooch several times to the point that if a viable alternative existed I would have gone with him or her.

It's just that with our two party system its either him or Romney.

Mr. Charleston: Yeah, Mittens is a conservative right now. I have a half-assed idea that if he won the election (God forbid) once Paul Ryan's ideas about Medicare and budget cuts to everything but defense were tried the mid-terms would in 2014 would see a new Democratic majority in both houses of Congress. After that Romney would do another set of flip-flops back to positions while governor.

Svmins: Well now, aren't you special. What confuses me is the fact that I have never hid my political views. The fact that you are apparently shocked at my political positions is both strange and a little irrational.

As for your accusations about me lying I DEMAND you prove me wrong as to Romney's flip-flops and baldfaced political pandering. The fact remains that your candidate has no core beliefs. His record as governor is a joke. And his business record is not what he wants people to believe. The old saying that he was born on third base and believe he has hit a triple in life works for him.

One last thing before you go off into the good night. If your guy is so neat and all American why won't he release his tax records. What is he hiding?

Life As We Know It: Yeah, I'm voting for him as well and I live in South Carolina.

Randal: Zombie Dio would be an improvement.

Jim: Yeah, three or four new political parties would loosen things up.

Rose: Thank you! Like I said above he did mess up on several occasions but most everyone else would have as well.

Mike Williams said...

I disagree with you on other parties It is do-able but it will take some organization and work. A Constitutional article V convention called by 34 states could do a lot to change the system as it currently exists. Currently there are 22 states calling for this convention. State legislatures have the ability to make this happen and that is on a more local level.

Doc Häagen-Dazs said...

3rd or 4th parties are not the answer. About the time they grow into prominence, they would be as corrupted by money as the first two parties are. The Answer is Barack Obama. He's not the perfect answer. But he's as good as it gets. Especially if we could give him both houses of Congress.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Well said. Kermit said it's not easy being green, but trust me, it's even harder being blue in a narrow-minded, tunnel-visioned red state like Georgia.

Doc Häagen-Dazs said...

I am ever-mindful that you guys are on the front lines. I'm taking my hat off to you in respect as I write this.

Leslie Parsley said...

Voting third party would be playing into the whole "divide and conquer" methodology of the GOP.

Mike Williams said...

Right now a lot of the third party buzz is coming from the right. for example: Virgil Goode
However there is Jill Stein of the green party on the left who I am in almost total agreement with on most issues. i won't make a decision for awhile between Obama who has disappointed and Stein an unknown and potential Ralph Nader of this election. Presidential politics aside a Article V constitutional convention is nin my opinion the way to make meaningful change such as instituting proportional representation, overthrowing citizen's united and reinstating Glass-Steagall. Long shot as it need 34 state legislatures to call a convention but that is politics on the local level.

Beach Bum said...

Mike: My reference to the establishment of a third party was in all actuallity tongue in cheek. Unless that third party happens to be a splinter group breaking from the Republicans. Frankly, from my observations its a testament to the delusional condition of right-wing Christians that something to that affect has not already happened.

The Ayn Rand-like business and cultural types that run the republican party at best see Christians as useful fools.

Now on the other hand, I have to mention that a Constitutional convention would open a huge can of worms. While this is an overstatment to a certain extent Americans are as Balkanized as any people can be and still have a unified government. I know Libertarians that want state assemblies to pick United States senators again like they did up until the late 19th century.

It only gets crazier after that.

Doc: Like I mentioned to Mike, that statement was mostly tongue in cheek. Especially since several members of our old blogging group have pretty much disowned me for defending Obama and not running off the reservation with how Obama is really a right-winger is disguise.

Susan: Trust me, I know the feeling since I live in South Carolina.

Leslie: I'm still pissed at Ralph Nader for screwing the country back in 2000.

Mike: I completely agree about Citizen United needing to be overturned. For the most part I consider the day of that decision The Fall of the American Republic.

Red Nomad OZ said...

Even though our government downunder is nothing to be proud of, I find this whole US election thing incomprehensible. And therefore comical!! Is that wrong??!!

Given the complex and definite election promises flung down by both sides, who can blame the general public for expecting miracles in a short time? Instant gratification (hhmm, yes, even whips & chains!!!) is de rigueur these days.

Robert the Skeptic said...

A couple of comments about your statements:

"... as conservatives wish upon a star for the Second Coming of Ronald Reagan" Of course Reagan would not be 'Conservative enough' to win the Republican nomination in today's party; he would be considered 'too moderate' (meaning: Liberal).

"...while we like to blame the politicians for all our problems they are just a reflection on those who elect them." This fact I bemoan most of all, I point the accusatory finger (middle) at the ignorant angel-believing, evolution-denying, keep-your-government-hands-off-my-social-security morons who lap up this simple-minded shit. We have met the enemy and it is us.