Saturday, May 21, 2011

The Time of Rapture and I will be at the Beach

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln

While the possibility does exist in some sub-microscopic range this could blow up in my face the supposed Rapture Event predicted for today, scheduled for everyone's 6:00am local time worldwide, will occur as Miss Wiggles and I are on the road to Pawleys Island for a day playing in the ocean. For those who might be taken away I wish you Godspeed and for those like me almost certain to be left behind if the Rapture occurs I will be quickly staking a claim at the first beach house near the marsh I find unoccupied. Given the chaos and fear after the Rapture I will be throwing a party at my newly acquired seaside home, everyone is welcome but it is BYOB.   





17 comments:

TRUTH 101 said...

Oh shit. It's 0620 central time and I'm still here.

Then again, I get to keep reading The Life and Times of a Carolina Parrothead.


Life can't be all bad.

Infidel753 said...

I can tell that's not an authentic rapture photo. The kind of person who dresses that way would never have left his cell phone behind.

Randal Graves said...

What awful timing, I won't even get to ride the wheelie bus one last time.

Lowandslow said...

Let's see....I stopped the paper...cancelled the mail....turned off the stove....yep, I'm ready. Or not. Have fun at the beach. Pictures later....just in case I'm still here? *wink*

S

Chef Cthulhu said...

My hypothesis - the rapture already happened. Macho Man was the only one among us worth taking.

Enjoy the beach.

squatlo said...

The Raptured will leave behind clothing? Does that mean they'll be floating away in their birthday suits? No wonder so many of the pious have been on starvation diets for the past few weeks! I thought there must be a high school reunion planned or something...

Sherry said...

Ummm, 3:31 PM EDT and I'm still here. Apparently I'm not worthy. Oh! Wait! I hear THUNDER!

Pixel Peeper said...

Checking in the mirror...OK, I'm still here. Packing up some beer. I'll be joining your party in about 7 hours. Maybe 6, if traffic is good.

Beach Bum said...

Truth: DAMMIT!!! I got to Pawleys Island and not only found all the beach houses still occupied the beach was even crowded. It was like all the heathens picked the same day as me to go to the beach. Serious suckage!

Infidel: Good point, I fully expect a surgically implanted cell phone to be invented within ten years. I swear I see people who never take those damn things away from their ears.

Randal: Interesting you wrote that since I had the same sentiment in dealing with a few of my relatives.

LowSlow: Would you believe that my hometown, Geogetown, South Carolina actually scheduled its Harborwalk festival today. Now that's what I call inconsiderate.

Chef: It was very nice, actually hung out at two beaches. The south end of Pawleys Island like I mentioned and Huntington Beach State Park. Had a very late lunch and then had to return home, my daughter has an activity connected with her gymnastics that required I not stay the night. It was a bummer.

Squatio: The last church I attended was one of those yuppie types with plenty of hot MILF's and if the Rapture would come I would do my best to get among those ladies if it turned out Heaven was a clothing optional place.

Sherry: I say all us heathens get together and have a toga party! Of course I do have to warn people that of the six toga parties I have attended in my life I have never worn underwear to them.

Pixel: Its back here at Lexington, read my response to Chef as to why i returned home. But I do have plenty of Landshark beer, chips, salsa, and sour cream.

Windsmoke. said...

Poor bloke in the photo is seriously deflated or is it just rapture :-).

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

Thanks, dude. Because of you I can't get that image of Mary Magdalene in a bikini out of my mind.......Oh, and, yes, you're correct, she is hot!!

Marja said...

lol All are stil here in Christchurch. Would have loved to go to your beach party though

Akelamalu said...

I'm back!

I missed your beach party. :(

lime said...

man, i cleaned my house, did the laundry, and cooked a great meal and then jesus didn't even show up. heading out to the island was a much better idea. hope you're having a great time!

Cloudia said...

still here!




Warm Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral

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okjimm said...

well, I, for one, died. The reincarnation thingee works, though, so now I am a dog.

Ranch Chimp said...

Nothing against your posting Bum, but the whole rapture thing is nonsense, that has went on for millenia in almost every goddamn culture/ religion around the world. And I wont even acknowledge that such a thing could even happen, I dont believe a word of it and see no evidence whatsoever to even think of it.

But Thanx Bum ....