Friday, February 4, 2011

Out of the mouth of an angry baby

 Age does not become me, instead of becoming more accepting of people faults and ignorance I find myself increasingly irritated at the putrid verbal emissions that amounts as intelligent conversation these days. This feeling is not a new thing for me, as I have regularly stated I work around a fine collection of idiot savants that can do one thing well but whose general knowledge of the world and its people borders on the moronic.  The fact that such absurdity is all too common where I live makes things even worse.  

The details are unimportant and would take far too long to explain but I found myself this morning sitting in a small waiting area amongst a group of people all watching the “Today Show.”  Now it is no secret the “Today Show” makes great efforts to be uncontroversial during the mornings leaving most heavy stories for MSNBC or the Brian Williams’ news show early in the evening.  Even with that, several people seating in the waiting area with me turned every story and segment into the downfall of Western Civilization and the beginnings of a new Dark Age.  As much as I tried to make myself invisible and to be left out of the conversation, a couple of people would make the mistake of asking my opinion.

While discretion in many cases is the better part of valor I avoided confrontation strictly for the reason that trying to argue with a fool only brings you down to his level. See, I'm not liked very much around these parts and I frankly like it that way but I see no sense and poking the hornet's nest if you get my meaning.

Matters were made worse that I had forgotten to bring a book or my laptop leaving me without a mental escape. Luckily, my time stuck waiting was made tolerable by the most unlikely of sources, as the second hour of my torture began, a mother entered the waiting area pushing a baby carriage with an alert and obviously intelligent baby propped up inside.

By the time the mom and baby had settled in the three primary idiots were again discussing the events in Egypt and how it was surely controlled by people out to harm America. At that point, the baby began loudly babbling interrupting their conversation.  It was hilarious, every time the alpha male idiot stopped speaking the baby would go quiet and when he began to speak again the baby would in effect shout him down once more.

The baby babble so bothered the alpha idiot that it eventually forced him and his cohorts to move out of the waiting area. The baby’s mother seemed purposelessly oblivious to this having pulled a magazine out of the diaper bag and left her child to, in my opinion, be the hero of the day. This only proved the point that I have mentioned many times, that I would rather hear the meaningless jibber of a baby all day than listen to an hour of what passes as adult conversation. 

I have added the following video just for giggles. Thanks to Mr. Charleston over at "Termites of Sin" for alerting me to it. Its a pretty good match for what the baby said this morning, just not as angry.


Liberality said...

that baby didn't want to hear his shit--good for the baby, and for the general public as well.

Mr. Charleston said...

Crimini... over an hour in a waiting room? You must have been at the airport.

Talking heads, live or on TV, are driving me crazy. There must be something to this thing of fluoride in the water reducing testosterone levels as men are beginning to jabber like women. 'nuf said.

Beach Bum said...

Liberality: I apologize for this post, I wanted to describe the scene better but I have a headache, again, and just could not make it work.

Mr. Charleston: If its the fluoride in the water we must be drinking a far heavier concentration down here in South Carolina.

Chef Cthulhu said...

I hear you, brother...the dumbfuck ratio is going through the roof.

Windsmoke. said...

Sounds like the idiot in the waiting room has a bad case verbal diarrhoea the babies dummy might have helped. Good on the baby for annoying the idiot enough for him to leave the room :-).

Bill's Big Bamboo said...

Waiting, huh ?? You must have been at either the doctor ,or, the car dealer.

In case I go to either one & don't have time to aquire my iPod or a magazine to take with me, I keep a book in the glove compartment of my truck, just in case the need arises to tune out the world while waiting.

Lowandslow said...

I wouldn't have gotten involved in their moronic conversation either. As I've heard it said, "You can't have a battle of wits with an unarmed person."

Love the video. Obviously a female. :)


Beach Bum said...

Chef: I admit I add to the sum total myself from time to time but I never try and draw anyone else in. Loved the baby though, the kid was awesome.

Windsmoke: I'm a sucker for babies and that one was clearly aware and alert.

Bill: I use to keep a book in my car for just such an occasion but it disappeared. I really need to correct that situation.

LowandSlow: Honestly that bothered me a lot, I never bring another person into my conversation if they give no sign they are interested. of course here in South Carolina the average Joe always assumes that everyone agrees completely with his opinion on everything.

Randal Graves said...

That baby was obviously a plant by some hippie DNC suit, a nefarious & secret plan to shut down freedomistic dissent trees of blood.

Beach Bum said...

Randal: I'm sure the pod people here will brainwash the sentience out of the baby before he or she is out of third grade. Shit, you know I actually have no idea if the baby was a girl or boy!

Will "take no prisoners" Hart said...

My cat doesn't talk at all and even she says more of import than a couple of certain idiots on Fox; 5 PM and 9 PM, respectively.

Marja said...

Hilarious I love how you expressed this. I am with you. Go baby

Beach Bum said...

After a bad bottle of cheap wine Friday night I actually had a dream Evil Spock the Cat started talking with me. I think even under that stupor Beck is still the loser.

Beach Bum said...

Marja: I seriously dig the babies, I can listen to their talk for hours.

Mother Theresa said...

Out of the mouths of babes. Hooray for the babbling kid!

okjimm said...

'meaningless jibber of a baby all day'

it's really not jibberish.....they are making plans to invade Egypt and are speaking in code. Sarah Palin said so.

Cloudia said...

Feel better!

Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral


Ranch Chimp said...

"Hi" Bum ... above this box it sez "Be friendly and say Hi" I read the post ... as far as comment's on this piece, I'll just say I'm lost for word's. :)

You "got me" Guy

Ranch Chimp said...

Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh ... Cloudia sez "Feeling better" She alway's feel's great ... I know if I was living in a place like beautiful Honolulu, instaed of this freezing Dallas weather I would feel good too! :)

Beach Bum said...

Mother T: Yeah, the baby was great, I wish all long waits could have such protection and entertainment.

Jim: I can believe that, babies are smarter than most adults.

Cloudia: Thanks!

Ranch: Yeah, back in Key west I had several thoughts at just staying right there.